


Summertine

by Kindasortaemo (orphan_account)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 17:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20119189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Kindasortaemo
Summary: This is the story of how two lovers meet under the warm summer sun.this is a fluffy frerard with petekey (and probably ryden and joshler, too) as a side shipping. there isn't going to be any smut in this, enjoy





	Summertine

**Author's Note:**

> this story used to be on wattpad, i didn't want it anymore so i'm orphaning it on here. take inspiration from this, write fics of this, translate it, i don't give a fuck, just don't repost it. i'll keep the original author's notes on the chapters since i want this to be a perfect copy of my original work and i don't want to accidentally cut out trigger warnings, but a lot of them won't matter to you. it'll have the original chapter breaks too, so yeah, they're kinda bad. sorry about that. (this was my first fic, i wrote it at 13 and i had no idea about what i was doing, so yeah.)

Introduction ~ 1

Song: that green gentleman, panic! at the disco

I slowly make my way to my locker, for the last time as a junior, my white converse squeaking on the polished floors of the Belleville public highschool.  
I open the locker, the chatter of the students around me giving me a vague sense of happiness as the last bell for the next three and a half months echoes in the hallways of the whole school.  
I carefully take the lock off the gray metal of the door, and put it my pocket, sure that i'm going to need it again for next year.

The hallways start to empty quickly, the loud voices of a thousand and five hundred students ready for almost four months of sweet nothingness getting louder.

I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder, and i turn around quickly, just to see my little brother and his boyfriend grinning at me.

"What are you doing still standing here? Let's get out of this hell hole." The shorter of the two speaks, before grabbing Mikey's hand and starting to walk away.

I quickly follow them, the almost empty backpack on my shoulders weighting way too much for my liking.

"Hello to you too, Pete." I say, sarcasm dripping from my words.

"Oh, shut up, you asshat" Mikey exclaims, a small smile making its way onto his lips.

A pleasant silence takes over our brief conversation, as we exit the huge double doors of the building, and I decide to stay a few steps behind the two lovebirds, now wrapped up in a side hug, not to intrude in their little conversation made of soft whispers and laughs.

The warm early june sun shines on my pale skin, making a small sigh of relief escape out of my chapped lips. It was way too warm outside but it was better than the artificial lighting and metal desks of the school.

"Hey, Gee, do you know where the fuck are the others?" Mikey asked, right arm still hooked around Pete's lower waist.

"I've seen Brendon and Pat at lunch, they have bullied Andy and Joe into giving them a ride to Brendon's house, but i have no clue where Ty and Josh are, though" I responded, getting closer to the couple.

"Oh, okay. I'm going to text Tyler to see where that motherfucker is, he has my video game and I explicitly told him i wanted it back today" Pete commented, pulling his phone out of his pocket, Mikey releasing his grip on the smaller boy.

I stopped paying attention to the couple again, and pulled my phone out of my pocket, and putting my earbuds in, the familiar sound of Billie Joe's voice relaxing my stressed mind.

~~~

I slam my bedroom door shut, locking it, before throwing my backpack in the corner of the room and kicking out my shoes and socks. I lay on my bed, and peel off my skinny jeans, throwing them somewhere on the floor.

I open the soda bottle i took from the kitchen before going upstairs and take a large gulp, the cold liquid perfect for the 30 degrees (a/n it's Celsius, obviously) weather.

I put the bottle on my bedside table and take out my sketchbook and pencils from under the bed, i carefully open the book to a new page and pick up a pencil, but nothing seems to come to mind.

I look out of the window, trying to find some inspiration, for what feels like hours, but is probably minutes. I glance over to the clock next to my soda bottle and i read the time. It's been 30 minutes.

I hear a faint buzz come from my phone on the floor, i pick it up and read the message from our group chat

ForeheadMan: Who wants to come over to mine? Me and Pat are pretty bored  
Ryro: it's Pat and I you spork, and keep playing with my hair  
Remy: what (yes, the other 2 and I are coming)  
Ryro: I'm in Brendon's lap and he needs to put his phone down and pay attention to his fucking boyfriend  
Josh: yeah, me and Ty are picking up stuff from Taco Bell, we'll be there in 10  
Fedora: well, we would be doing something if beebo didn't smash his freaking tv in half but okay  
Memeboi: can't, busy.  
Lemongee: do i want to know  
Lil bro: probably not  
Lemongee: oh god you're right across the hallway  
Lemongee: i'll be over in 15  
Andy: what do you mean by "beebo smashed his tv in half?"  
ForeheadMan: ...I lost at mario kart and got angry.  
Andy: damn okay. Joe and I are on our way  
Drummerboy: we'll be over in 10  
Frofro: Dal and I are on our way  
ForeheadMan: so, is the whole squad coming?  
Lemongee: yeah, i think so

I switch off the phone and take a random pair of sweatpants off of the floor and quickly put them on, and put my phone and keys in the pocket.

I get out of the room and run down the stairs.

"Mom, i'm going to Brendon's, i don't know if I'm coming back for dinner" i call out, before closing the front door behind me.

The scorching summer heat instantly burns on the pale skin of my exposed arms and face as i make my way down the road, Brendon's house just a couple of minutes away.

~~~

I knock on Brendon's door, and a sleepy looking Ryan opens the door, his hair sticking upwards in weird ways.

"Oh, hi Gee, come in, we're all in the living room" he announces, before stepping back and letting me enter the cold house

"Hi guys" i announce to the 16 guys sprawled out in the three couches and the carpet of the large room, snacks and soda bottles carefully put in the center of the big circle they created.

Ryan sits back in Brendon's lap, next to Awsten, Geoff and Otto on the bigger couch, Josh and Tyler sitting right in the front of them, on the ground. Patrick, Joe and Andy are sitting in the couch right next to them, loudly chewing some chips. The three Kropp brothers are sitting on the other, smaller looking couch, Dallon, Ryan (a/n, it's ryan seaman) and Ray in front of them.

A loud chorus of salutations comes from the group, as i make my way to the second couch, sitting in front of them.

~~~  
A/n this is the first chapter of this and it sucks and it's pretty fucking boring but it's going to become a bit better and more interesting (and fluffy) once Frankie is introduced.

He shouldn't have known ~ 2

song(s): hospital beds, palaye royale  
rag doll, palaye royale

I stare up at the dark ceiling of Brendon's room, still wide awake, thoughts running wild, even when everyone has already fallen asleep laying down somewhere on the numerous blankets and pillows laid out on the soft carpet. It wasn't our first group sleepover like this.

I feel some shifting near me and see Josh pulling his boyfriend's sleeping form to his chest, snuggling on top of a thick, dark red blanket.

I feel lonely sometimes. I look at my friends and feel slightly jealous of some of them. Brendon has Ryan, Tyler has Josh, Awsten has Geoff and Mikey has Pete. I know i'm being kind of selfish, almost, but loneliness is awful.

I wonder if I'm ever going to get someone to love me like i so desperately want to. I really don't care about the gender. But then I remember that nobody likes me. I look at all of the wonderful people in this room and i wonder if I'm ever going to be good enough. Tears start welling up in my eyes and i quickly wipe them away with the back of my hand, a tiny sob manages to make its way out of my lips. I don't want to cry here, there are too many people to witness it and i don't want them to.

I go back to staring to the dark ceiling, and something touches my stomach. I look down and someone had mistaken me for a pillow. The bright teal hair is a dead giveaway for who it is, and i let him lay on me, i don't mind, it's not the first time Ryan and I had been so close, and the warmth of someone else is nice when you're feeling lonely.

I let myself fall asleep, finally, the almost complete silence of the room lulling me in a dreamless, restless sleep.

~~~

I wake up at around eleven, everyone else still laying down, sleeping, or at least pretending to.

"Mh, what the hell? Why is my pillow breathing?," Ryan asks, voice thick with sleep "Oh, sorry Gee" he apologizes, and i flash him a small smile, as to tell him that i don't mind at all.

"Seb, could you move your fucking elbow, you're kinda hurting me" someone, Remington, I suppose, half yells from the other side of the room.

"Rem, shut up, i'm trying to sleep here" the brother commands, before hitting him on the arm.

"Ow, you didn't just hit me, did you?" Remington threatened, before hitting his brother back.

"Stop being childish fuckers, you have woken Mikey up" Pete ordered, his tone almost stern enough to be scary. Yesterday they eventually showed up to the small party later in the night, with messy hair and red cheeks.

Now half of us are awake, sitting on the floor, wondering who the fuck was making all this noise.

"Now, wake up you fuckers, if you want breakfast come downstairs, Ry and I will be there" Brendon loudly announces to the seventeen of us, before gently grabbing Ryan's hand and exiting the room.

I decide that eating wouldn't be bad and choose to follow the couple downstairs, but apparently every one else did so, as they got up and started following me.

We get greeted by Mrs.Urie downstairs, "Good morning boys! I've made some pancakes and stuff in the kitchen, just try not to trash the place, i know how you tend to be" she smiles at us, by now used to the group of nineteen teenage boys, the sleepovers at each other's houses a common thing we had been doing for years. We had known each other our whole lives, the small town's school system putting each other in the same classes since kindergarten.

~~~

I slam the door of my bedroom, and lock it, the digital clock on my bedside table signing 1:43 pm.

I sit on my bed, and my phone buzzes in my back pocket. I pull it out. It's a text from Patrick.

Fedora: Hey Gee, how are you?  
Lemongee: I'm fine, you saw me barely an hour ago, what's up?  
Fedora: You can tell me whatever, you know  
Lemongee: Pat, what happened?

He hadn't heard me cry, did he? It would be embarrassing to explain.

Fedora: I kinda saw you cry last night, is everything alright? I'm kinda worried, you know.  
Lemongee: I'm fine, i just get really sad sometimes, and i don't know why.

I lied. I know why i feel so lonely at all times, but sometimes lying is easier than explaining.

Fedora: Okay...  
Fedora: just know that you can talk to any of us anytime

I sigh, and switch off my phone. He saw me cry. Fuck. I run my fingers through my hair, like i do whenever i'm stressed and embarassed. He saw me. Oh god, he knows, he knows, he knows and he shouldn't have known.

I take a deep breath and bury my head into my pillow. I feel so ashamed and i don't even why. I need something to calm me down. I sit back up on the bed, rubbing my eyes. I grab my sketchbook and a random pencil, and start to draw, mostly random faces and shapes.

I need some fresh air. I grab my school backpack, and dump its content on the floor. I shove my pencil case, sketchbook and phone inside, and i zip it shut.

I run down the stairs, yelling a faint "Mom, i'm going out, I'll be back before dinner!"

I start walking down a familiar street, the warm summer wind making me sweat already.

The place i so desperately wanted to get to comes into sight. It's nothing special, it's a small park Mikey and I used to spend our afternoon at when we were kids. We'd dream of being astronauts, we'd chase each other around, pretending to be dinosaurs. We'd be whatever we wanted to be.

Now it's just a small, dirt field with rusty swings. But it was a good enough place to hide.

But is seems like i'm not the only one who thought the same thing, as i see a small boy, sitting on a swing, every piece of skin on his arms and neck covered in tattoos. He had almost long, jet black hair, the sides shaved and dyed red. He wore all black, with red converse, and was that eyeliner?

~~~  
A/N FRANKIE IS HERE!!!! (I've finished this chapter during a free period, and i'm posting this during break, lol.) (I haven't edited this)

Frank ~ 3

Song(s): Mrs. Infamous (my sweetness), palaye royale  
Summertime, my chemical romance (duh)

He is looking down, slightly swinging on one of the two swings. I would've walked away by now, I'm looking for some time alone after all. But something about him keeps me frozen in place, mesmerized.

He looks up, and our eyes meet. He has hazel eyes, the most wonderful shade of hazel I've ever seen. And yes, that was definitely eyeliner. He's wearing a lip ring too. I had never seen him around before.

"What do you want?" He asks, his voice cold and stiff. His eyes are red, like he had been crying

"Oh, nothing. It's just that i didn't expect anyone to be here. Nobody ever comes here anymore, just me" I respond, taken aback from the sudden coldness of the beautiful stranger.

"I'm sorry, I was kinda rude," he apologizes, shifting slightly in his seat "let me indroduce myself a bit better, I'm Frank"

"Gerard" I respond, as I sit in the swing next to him.

Frank. It's a pretty name. It suits him.

"Now, Gerard, what are you doing here in this rusty place?" He asks, looking down at his worn out shoes.

"I could ask you the same thing, Frank," i sass back, smiling "I come here to clear my head when everything feels like it's too much to handle" i continue, grabbing the chains of the swing, releasing them instantly, the boiling hot metal burning the sentitive skin of my hands.

He laughs a bit at that. I find it cute.

"I understand. I'm here for the same reason" he says, still not looking at me.

"And why did you need to clear your head?" I ask him, trying to look at him in the eyes, "if I'm not asking too much" I add, sensing his discomfort.

"It's kind of embarassing and I'm just being a bit of a crybaby, I guess" he stutters out, clearly uncomfortable.

"I shouldn't have asked that," I whisper, knowing that he can hear me anyways through the thick, heat filled air "I made you uncomfortable and I-"

"No, no it's not you. Well, it's you, but not directly," he rambles, finally looking at me "I'm just scared of judgement, I'm here because I feel like I should come out to my parents, but I can't," he chokes out, on the verge of tears "not now, not now that we've just moved here and this is such a big change for me and I feel so, so lonely and I'm not even making sense"

"Hey, calm down," I say, looking at him, a single tear escaping out of his eye "you don't have to come out until you feel ready, trust me, i made that mistake" I reassure him "you really shouldn't come out unless you're safe and happy. For me it ended up well, but i hid for weeks after I did, I wasn't ready"

He looks at me, wiping his face with the back of his hand "You're gay too?" He asks, relief clear in his voice "and I'm sorry for rambling, I just had to let it all out, it was killing me"

"Kind of" I reply "I'm panromantic asexual actually" I continue, kicking a small pebble next to my left foot "And don't worry, I get you. You don't have to apologize"

"That's cool" he affirms "anyway, enough about me, why are you here?"

My heart rate speeds up, and I start to remember why I needed to get away in the first place  
"It's childish, and I'm just being paranoid as always," I shake slightly in my seat, and take a deep breath, before continuing "It's just that yesterday night I was sleeping over at my friend's and I was having one of my breakdowns in the middle of the night, and I started to cry, and one of my friends heard me, I knew it was possible, there were other eighteen dudes in the room with me, and he texted me about it like a couple of hours ago and I freaked out. Anxiety's a bitch"

"It clearly isn't childish if you're shaking like that, you know. Crying isn't something you should be ashamed of, everyone can feel sad from time to time" he smiles at me.

He has a beautiful smile, i could stare at it for hours.

"I kinda want to hug you right now," He randomly says, and i turn around to look at him, blushing.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?" He chuckles, trying to break the tension.

My cellphone rings loudly from my backpack, revolution radio by green day playing loudly. I take it out and look at the caller ID. It's mom. I close the call and get off the swing, turning to Frank.

"It's my mom, she probably wants me home, it's been like two hours since i went out. I told her I'd be back for dinner" I explain sadly. For some strange reason i didn't want to leave him.

"Oh, okay. I'll go back home too, mom is probably wondering where the fuck I am" he says, a small frown curling on his lips, and gets up from his seat.

He turns around, ready to walk away, and i grab his arm, pulling him in a bone crushing hug.

"God, I wasn't expecting this, but this feel nice, to be honest" he sighs happily, hugging me back. 

"Bye, Frank. See you around" I say, breaking the hug.

"Bye, Gerard" Frank says, with a smile, before turning away (a/n turn away, if you could-) and starting his journey back home.

~~~

I lay in the middle of the cold floor of my room, a certain little punk boy in mind.

My sketchbook laid open in front of me countless sketches of just him littering pages and pages of the book. Anything from his hands to his smile and his beautiful eyes.

I look over to the bedside table, an old bottle of soda I forgot on top of it. The digital clock says it's midnight. I've been thinking about Frank like a lovesick teenager for hours now. I have a feeling he won't leave soon

~~~  
A/N for today this is all. I'll start writing chapter 4 right after I finish writing this :D If you're lucky, you might get a triple update :)

Wild daisies ~ 4

Song(s): lucky people, waterparks

I wake up to warm rays of sunshine caressing the skin of my naked back. I groan and stir a bit, before deciding that trying to fall asleep again is useless.

My phone buzzes from my bedside table, the charger connected to it.

Awsten: Guys, look at what Josh did to my hair  
(in the original work this had an image of awsten knight with purple hair)  
Josh: i'm proud of myself  
Memeboi: first of all, rude, i was sleeping  
Memeboi: second of all, you look like a thirteen year old girl  
Emerson: cool  
Ty: dude that's sick  
Lemongee: how are you awake so early  
Lil bro: Gee, it's like midday  
Lemongee: what the fuck how

I throw my phone onto my bed, and quickly get up from the bed, a strand of yellow, bleached hair falling into my eyes.

I decide that breakfast- or lunch?- can wait, and make my way into the bathroom Mikey and I share.

I quickly strip down, and enter into the tub, turning on the shower. Lukewarm water washes over me and wait- what if i dyed my hair too? I will have to ask someone for advice on what color.

~~~

I make my way downstairs, dressed in a dark grey tank top and jeans.

I make myself a bowl of cereal, and walk into the dining room.

"So, Gee, who are you crushing on?" Mikey asks, smirking.

"What?- How did you-" I frantically ask, blushing, as I take a seat at the dining table.

"Dude, all you played yesterday were love songs, you know I'm right next to your room, right?" He shifts slightly in his seat, before starting to eat from the bowl of lucky charms in front of him.

"Well, I'm not crushing on him. Or at least not yet. I just met him yesterday, and I barely know anything about him" I reply, staring at the sogging cereal in my bowl.

"Sure, big bro, sure" he replies, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

He gets up, and disappears into the kitchen with his bowl. He's acting pretty weirdly, but i decide not to question it.

~~~

I walk slowly down the familiar street, but today i feel more at ease and relaxed. Today, I actually take time to let the warm breeze blow my hair back, to look at the clear sky. I let out a deep breath and smile, because today I actually feel like living for once.

Instead of sitting on the swings, I decide to lay in the green grass, a few meters from them. I put my backpack down, careful not to harm the few, big, wild daisies that managed to grow there. I retrieve my sketchbook and a pencil from my bag. I start sketching one of the cute flowers. They remind me of Frank somehow. I smile at that.

I feel someone sitting next to me. I already know who it is. The small frame and dark hair give it away.

"I didn't think you were an artist, you know?" He says, no malice present in his voice.

"I don't really think that about myself, to be honest, but sure" I joked, slamming my sketchbook shut.

"How did you know I was going to be here today?" He questions, laying back in the soft, damp grass.

"I didn't. I just guessed, and I was right" I replied, laying back next to him.

"Oh. I just realized we basically don't know each other all. Do you want to play 20 questions?" He asks, playing with the grass near my hand.

"Sure," I reply "How old are you actually? You look 12, but the tattoos make it seem otherwise"

"Excuse me? I'm 17!" He scoffs, fake offense clear in his tone. "Let's see, how old are you?"

"I'm 17 too" I laugh "you're just short. But i think it's cute"

"Anyways, I was thinking about dyeing my hair again, I'm tired of the lemon look" I say, one of my hands reaching up to touch a strand of hair.

"I feel like you should dye it red. It would suit you" He comments, touching his own hair.

"Maybe I'll try that. I'll have Awsten, Josh and Ryan help me decide"

"I was wondering, how many friends do you have? Yesterday you said you were 18 at a sleepover"

"Yeah, I have 18 best friends. I know them since I was born, and one of those dudes is actually my little brother" I answer

"Really?" He wondered "tell me about them" He adds, looking up at the sky?.

"Well, there's Mikey, my little bro, he's 16, and his meme of a boyfriend Pete. There's sweet, fedora wearing Patrick, and his closest friend Andy. There are fluffy haired Joe and Ray. Then there are Brendon and his boyfriend Ryan, we call him Ry, because there's also the other Ryan and then there's Dallon. There are the three Kropp brothers, Remington, Emerson, and Sebastian. Neon haired Josh and his boyfriend Tyler, and Awsten, Awsten's boyfriend Geoff and Otto. We're all love each other, and I consider them my brothers" I say, listing all of my friends

"I'm kinda jealous. Nobody sticks with me long enough to become my best friend" He pouts, a layer of sadness clear in his voice

"I will." I say, without thinking. Oh god, what if he thinks I'm weird and gross and-

I calm down almost immediately as I feel Frank's hand on top of mine, our fingers intertwining.

Fuck yes. I could get used to this.

"Are you okay with this? You aren't taken, right?" He whispers, clearly scared of my reaction

"I'm more than okay with this, and no, I don't have anyone at the moment" I beame, and give his hand a tiny squeeze.

"You remind me of wild daisies, you know?" I state, turning my head to look at him "they're my favorite flowers. You're my favorite flower" I continue.

He lets go of my hand and shuffles closer to me, and rests his head on my chest.

"You're my favorite flower too" Frank replies, his voice barely above a whisper

I pluck one of the daisies from the ground, and gently tuck it behind his ear. He looks up at me and smiles. It's one of those genuine, truly happy smiles.

We stay together, in silence, looking at the clear, blue sky above us, the promise of eternal friendship still lingering in the air.

~~~  
A/n and this is today's third chapter. I wrote so much today because I really wanted to write this scene and also because tomorrow I won't be able to write, fml.

Rain ~ 5

A/N TRIGGERS AHEAD (body image issues, self harm scars). Stay safe, and if you want to skip this, just pm and I'll explain the plot.

Song(s): gøner, twenty øne piløts  
Dying in a hot tub, palaye royale

I've always loved the rain, especially summer storms like this one. The loud, violent splashes of water against the windows and the booming thunder. It makes me feel like my mind isn't the only thing that makes this much noise.

I'm alone tonight. Mom is out, visiting grandma, Mikey is with Pete, Ryan and Brendon on a double date. I haven't even bothered to pick up my phone to see where the others are. I miss my little flower boy.

I don't know what time it is, but it's dark out. I shouldn't be making coffee this late. I don't care though, and grab the white, coffee filled cup anyways.

I go back upstairs, the cup burning on the skin of my left hand. I set the cup on my bedside table, after taking a sip from it, the bitter liquid tastes like heaven to me.

I feel lonely today, I think, as I run my fingers through my greasy hair. I haven't showered since I hung out with Frank three days ago.

I go up to my closet, and open it. I search through layers and layers of clothes, and I finally touch some leather. I take out the expensive notebook, and walk up to my desk, after retrieving my coffee cup. It's my journal. I usually use it as an outlet for the depressing thoughts that come with humid days like today.

I carefully flip through the pages, some words written in red ink catch my eye. I already know what kind of words they are, so I don't linger on that page for that long, because today it isn't only about humid days. Today it's about wild daisies too. 

I know what kind of words they are. I've had this journal for a long time, and those words still haunt me to this day, even though I've learnt how to start battling them.

I pick up a yellow marker. It reminds me of daisies, and daisies remind me of my little flower boy. 

I start writing about him, the smooth paper under the harsh ink of the marker. He's my best friend. I barely know him, but I already feel like I've known him my whole life.

~~~

It's late. It's very late at night, I'm sure of it. Mikey is staying over at Pete's. And that means I'm alone.

The red words won this battle. I shouldn't have let them, but they did, and it's bad and I haven't felt to bad since I've last picked up a blade.

I stand in front of a mirror now, the full length mirror of the bathroom. I look at my scars. Hundreds of tiny, little scars litter my thighs and hips, some stretch marks to keep them company. I shouldn't be this upset over some skin.

But it looks so ugly. The yellowish glow of the pale skin under the crappy lights looks awful and yet I keep staring and touching and pinching and squeezing at the skin.

I start tracing one of my biggest scars. It's the first one I've ever made. It's on my left hip, it goes straight across and almost touches my belly button.

I start counting the stretch marks on the back of my thighs. It's thirteen on the left one and fifteen on the right one. I don't count the ones on my hips. I already know there are twenty four of them. Twenty four.

I look at my thighs. They touch. They shouldn't do that. I look at the slightest bit of stomach sticking out. I look over at the razor I left out on the sink yesterday morning. Maybe i should-

No. No, I remind myself. I won't fall for that again, after months of being clean. I put on a t-shirt, and walk out of the bathroom. I won't do that ever again.

I'm so angry at myself for even thinking about that. I'm just so stupid for ever doing that and even more stupid for falling for it again and-. I stop myself, and take a deep breath, I need to talk to somebody.

I pick up my phone, from where I last left it near my empty coffee cup a couple of hours ago. It's midnight.

I scroll through my contacts. Mikey? No. He's probably doing something with Pete right now. Awsten? I don't think he's awake. Emerson? He's on vacation with his family, I don't want to ruin it for him making him worry. Josh? Ryan? Patrick? Ray? No to all of them. I decide that talking to someone might not be a good idea, then i see Frank's contact. Should I? Maybe I should.

Lemongee: Hey Frank, are you up?  
Flower boy🌸: Yeah, what's up?  
Lemongee: I'm just not feeling that good emotionally right now, and I need to talk to somebody

Incoming FaceTime from flower boy🌸

I accept the call, and Frank's face pops up on the screen.

"Gee, what's up? You look like you've been crying." He states, worry clear on his features.

"Well," I begin, sitting on my bed "I'm really sad, you know? It's just that on rainy days I get really sad for some reason, and I just kinda started overthinking myself and-" I pause, and take a deep breath "now, don't be worried about me, and I know this is a heavy thing to drop on you, we barely know each other, I'm mostly fine, and i stopped doing that a long time ago-" I paused, choking up "I thought about cutting again"

Neither of us said anything. The call was silent, Frank was staring at me, judging me. He thinks I'm a freak now. A stupid, ugly freak that can't do anythin-

"You didn't though, did you? Please, please tell me you didn't." He whispers, his eyes shining with unshed tears "Please, tell me you didn't. Please, don't do that. You're amazing. You're the only one that made me feel accepted and maybe I'm being too cheesy but you're my only best friend-"

"I didn't. I caught myself before I could." I say truthfully.

He sighs in relief "please, know that I'm here for you no matter what. You already mean so much to me, you're my only friend"

"This is why I chose to call you. All the other guys know that I have depression and that I'm better now, but I chose you because you already mean so much to me," I reply. "I'm really alright, I've learnt how to stop the toxic thoughts, I just needed to let it out with someone I trust" 

"I really want to hug you right now" he claims, pulling what I suppose is a blanket over part of his upper body, from what I can see from the screen.

"We can hang out tomorrow, if you want," I say, sliding down in a laying position "we can go wherever you want, or we can hang out here, and I might let you dye my hair if you want"

I really like the thought of him dyeing my hair

"Yeah. I'd really like that." He smiles

~~~  
A/n woah. Today I really felt like shit and I guess this is the outcome. Please, if you ever feel like gee in this and you need someone to talk to, my pm's are always open <3

Sketchbook ~ 6

Song(s): Powerless, waterparks  
The world is ugly, mcr

I slowly wake up, gentle rays of sunshine seeping into my pale skin. It feels nice after a rainy day and I smile a little at that.

I look over at the clock. It's two pm. Huh, I'm not used to sleeping this late.

I stay in bed for a little bit, carelessly scrolling through my phone notifications, then I remember that Frank is coming over today. I smile even wider at that.

I smile even wider because he's the first person I've ever felt the need to talk to after one of those nights. He's my little flower boy, and nothing's going to change that.

I get out of bed, and stretch a little. I put on the first pair of sweatpants I find on the floor, and make my way to the bathroom. I'll have to clean that room.

I look at myself in the small mirror of the dimly lit bathroom. I look like shit. My eyes are red and puffy, my cheeks are still tear stained and my skin is paler than usual.

Yeah, I really look like shit today. Even more than usual.

I quickly wash my face with cool water, and I sigh with relief. I'm going to need a shower too.

My stomach rumbles loudly. Eating can wait.

What's another day without eating after all?

~~~

I put on a pair of soft, black jeans and a light blue t-shirt, and I quickly dry my hair with a random towel I found laying around in the bathroom, then I throw it in the laundry basket in the corner in my room.

I start to pick up some clothes off of the floor, and putting them all in the basket.

Suddenly, there's a sharp knock at my door

"Gerard, there's a guy looking for you at the door, should I let him in?" Mikey asks, his voice a mix of concern and curiosity.

"Yeah, let him in." I reply, as I go up to the door and unlock it.

A few seconds pass, and I hear the sound of someone's steps getting closer and closer.

The door suddenly opens, and I'm instantly tackled into a hug.

"I was fucking worried," Frank says, his voice muffled against my chest "I was fucking worried"

"I'm sorry," I whisper, as I hold him closer "I'm so, so, sorry"

A deep silence falls between us, still hugging in the middle of my messy bedroom.

He finally pulls back from the hug "Do you want to talk about it or do you want to do something else"

"We can talk, if you're that curious." I reply calmly. I'm sincere about things like this, for once. With Frank I don't feel like I have to lie to preserve the perfect façade I keep around everyone. Everyone but the boys, that is.

I sit on my bed, and Frank follows.

"Wait, what the fuck did I sit on?" he says, pulling out one of my notebooks from underneath him. That's either my journal or my sketchbook. I can't tell from the outside.

"Oh. That's my sketchbook" I reply, unsure. I didn't leave my journal out, did I?

"Can I look through it? Please?" He pleads, his voice laced with curiosity.

"Yeah, you can" I allow, a little unsure

Please, please, tell me it isn't my journal.

He carefully flips it open, looking at the first page. It isn't my journal, thank god.  
He looks at the sketch I made of Mikey in awe, his eyes wide and his mouth curled in a small smile.

"This is awesome, Gee. It's beautiful. This is your brother, right?" He asks, looking at me.

"Yeah, it is. If you flip the pages you'll see the other guys"

He slowly flips the page. It's a sketch of Ray, and the page next to it is a sketch of Pete and Patrick.

He looks at all of the drawings I made of the guys. He brushes his fingertips over the bright color of Awsten's hair. He compliments me over how precise and sharp Emerson's make up is drawn.  
He jokingly asks about Brendon's forehead, and asks me about all of their names because "now this dudes are my friends too, you aren't going to get rid of me anytime soon". I laugh at that.

"Gee, oh my god, you didn't" he squeals, before showing me the page. It's the page I had filled with drawings of him.

I blush "Well, you have the perfect bone structure for sketching"

He chuckles a little at that.

"You really see me like this? These are beautiful." He praises, and continues looking through the pages

He suddenly gasps, and shows me the page. It's a full colored drawing of him, a flower crown of wild daisies on his head.

He stares at me, the widest smile on his lips. His eyes are staring right into mine, with a look I can't quite decipher. His eyes are the most beautiful I've ever seen.

He blushes, and, without a word, looks down at the sketchbook in his lap

"Thank you" is all he says, still not looking at me.

He carefully flips the page, then abruptly stops. I'm about to ask him what he's looking at. Then I remember. It's that drawing. The one about the red words. I had forgotten about that one.

He carefully brushes over the harshly contrasting words written in red marker

"Gee?" He asks, his voice shaking "Is this really how you feel about yourself?"

"I don't-" I reply, eyes squeezed shut.

"Gee, look at me, please" he implores, cutting me off

I slowly open my eyes, he's looking at me, worry washing over his features.

"I'm so, so sorry you've ever felt this way about yourself. I'm so sorry" he chokes out, before gently cupping my face with his hands, and wiping away tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.

I hadn't noticed I started crying.

He gently kisses my forehead, and then hugs me tightly. I hug back just as tightly, quietly sniffling in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry" I cry out, slightly shaking. I hold onto his shirt tighter, my knuckles probably turning white.

"Please, don't do this to yourself. You're beautiful to me"

~~~

Frank is sitting up, his back against the wall, my head in his lap. He gently plays with my hair, careful not to pull too much.

He told me to tell him everything. So I did. I told about how lonely I feel, how jealous I am of others and why I felt the urge to cut in the past. I feel relieved, he didn't leave like I expected him to.

~~~  
A/n WOAH. This took me 4 hours to write and edit instead of my normal 1,5/2 hours, I had to take numerous breaks and had a little breakdown halfway through, but here it is. I might publish another one because of yesterday's lack of one. Idk though

"Fuck no, we're both taking the bed" ~ 7

Song(s): S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W, mcr  
The hype tøp

Frank gently plays with my hair, my head in his lap. I've just finished telling him my story. He doesn't look disgusted, like I thought he would. He looks sad. Really sad.

"I-" he stutters out, before taking a deep breath "I don't know what to tell you. You're so, so, amazing and talented. I'm sorry you feel like this." He pulls my hair a bit too much and I let out a whine "Sorry, Gee. I didn't mean it"

"You shouldn't. It's not your fault I feel like this. You should just blame me for just not being enough" I reply, a small sigh leaving my chapped lips.

"You're kidding, right? You are enough, Gee. You're an amazing friend and a super talented artist" he says, running his fingers through his hair.

A knock interrupts our conversation, and the door swings open, a smirking Mikey on the other side

"Mom wants to know if your friend is staying for dinner, and if he's staying the night" he asks, a teasing smile on his features. He's going to tell the others about how "oh my god Gee has got a boyfriend" or some shit like that.

"I just have to ask my mom, but yeah, most likely" Frank replies, a bit confused by the looks Mikey and I are exchanging.

"Oh, and tell mom that Frank's a vegetarian please" I add. I don't want to make him uncomfortable by forgetting something that important.

He nods, and exits the room, closing the goddamn door behind him.

"Thank you for reminding him" he says.

"Anyways, as I was saying, you're amazing Gee, and you're beautiful. Please don't tell yourself otherwise, it's not healthy" He continues, a small frown tugging at his lips.

"I'll try, but I can't promise you anything" I reply.

He nods, and silence falls between us, his calloused fingers still gently threading through my hair. I like how it feels.

He pulls out his phone, I presume to text his mom, and he pulls his hand out of my hair I let out a small sigh of displeasure. Frank's touch calms me.

"Okay, my mom says I can stay," he says calmly "your hair is so soft by the way, I like it"

"Thank you, I guess?" I chuckle, a little taken aback by the sudden, unrelated statement "I want to dye it again, but I don't know, like, I've dyed it black for a year and I got bored, I tried to dye it teal to match Josh, Awsten and Ryan, but I ended up with awful teal roots. I might dye them red. I feel like red would suit me"

"I don't know, to be honest, do whatever you please, it's your head after all. I feel like red would look cool on you though" he replies, shifting slightly, trying not to hurt me, as he slides back up against the wall, he had slipped forward a little.

"Well, mind that I don't let people even come near my hair, so this is a big question for me, would you like to dye my hair?" I asked, jokingly

"Yes. Yes, yes, yes! Can we do it tomorrow? Or later if you've already got the dye?" He childishly asks, grinning.

I look up. His eyes are shining with joy, almost childishly so. He stares right back at me, and our eyes meet. Under this light his eyes look like the prettiest forest, light greens and earthy browns mixing into the perfect hazel color. 

"Yeah, we'll do that tomorrow." I reply, an odd feeling blossoming in my chest.

"Boys, dinner's ready!" We hear my mom shout from downstairs.

I groan. I don't want to get off of Frank's lap.

~~~

We quietly make our way back upstairs, happy, satisfied smiles on both of our faces.

Frank reaches out for my hand, and gently takes it into his. I smile even wider at that.

"Why did you take my hand?" I ask curiously, closing my bedroom door behind me.

"I don't know. I felt like holding your hand." He replies, "Can I open the window? It's getting a bit stuffy in here."

"Yeah, you can. Now, what do you want to do, Frankie?" I ask, as he opens the window. His hand had let go of mine long ago.

"I don't know.-" he gets cut off by my phone ringing.

"Sorry, it's Patrick. I have to answer or he'll get worried" I say, picking up the phone. He nods.

"Hey. What's up?" I say, geniunely curious.

"Nothing, it's just that we all, except Mikes haven't seen you in days and I got kinda worried" he says, faint chatter can be heard in the background

"I'm fine, I'm actually with Frank right now" I say, sure that Mikey has already told everyone about him.

"Who?" He asks.

"Frank, a friend," Franks looks at me confused "how about I add him in the group or have a videochat with everyone?" I look at him for approval, and he shrugs. I guess that's a yes, then.

"Well, okay. Add him to the group" he says, and closes the call

"Please, now I'm going to add you to our group chat, don't be creeped out. They're weirdos but they can be serious if they want. Except Pete. And Awsten." I ramble

"Okay, Gee, calm down. I wasn't expecting anything else" he reassures "now, add me"

~~~

"Dude, your friends are weird." He says, a mix between concerned and amused

"I know, I know" I reply.

I love them though.

"I feel like Ryan has a crush on you, to be honest" he says "the Ryan with blue hair, I mean" he adds

"You do?" I ask.

I feel weird. I don't like him in that way.

"Yes. And I mean, who wouldn't have a crush on you?" He replies, looking down.

(A/n totally unrelated but I just got northen downpoured and I'm sobbing)

"Anyways, are you tired? I kinda am." He says, changing subject.

I glance over at the clock. It's midnight. We talked for hours, and watched a movie together in video chat, everyone from their rooms.

"Okay. But," I say "you're taking the bed, and I'm taking the couch." I add, pointing to the couch in the corner of the room. It's small, but I should fit.

"No fucking way that I'm letting you sleep there. We're both taking the bed." He commands, his tone serious.

"Frank,-" I try to say, but he cuts me off.

"No buts, we're both taking the bed, there's enough room for the both of us. Now, can I borrow a t-shirt? This one's kinda tight and It's uncomfortable to sleep in" he asks, calmly.

"Uhm, yeah." I mumble, and reach into one of the drawers in my closet, and I throw him one of my clean t-shirts.

We silently change, and my t-shirt is big on him, engulfing his small frame. He looks cute.

We crawl into bed, careful to leave enough space between us, the queen sized bed big enough to let us do so.

"Goodnight Gee"

"Goodnight Frankie"

~~~  
A/n So, here's chapter 7 for you. This took me like 3 days to write, and I'm so sorry for not updating earlier. It's just that I've been busy studying a lot and I have an important competition in two weeks and I've been training a lot, even outside of practice.  
Anyways, I have a question. Should I make Frank speak italian in this...? Since it's my native language I feel like I should, but idk.

Pizza, video games and apologies ~ 8

Song(s): Joyriding, frank iero and the cellabration

A/n: PLEASE, don't be a silent reader!

I lay still, in the middle of the small field, wild daisies all around me. It's that field.

I haven't seen any of my friends in around two weeks. Because I feel like they don't care.

They all have better things to do anyways. Eight of them are together, others just have other people. I feel so left out sometimes. It's my fault. It's always my fault.

But at the same time I don't feel nothing at all. It's not a foreign feeling to me.

I light up one of my cigarettes, and I burn one of my fingertips. I don't care though.

I take a drag, and look up at the darkening sky, big, gray clouds. It's going to rain.

I get up, and decide that it's time to go back home, cigarette still hanging off my lip.

I take another drag, and I start to walk down that familiar street. A strand of bright red falls on my eyes. My beaten up white converse contrast with the dark gray of the old, hole filled sidewalk.

I feel the wind blowing against my bare arms, and a few droplets of water fall on my face, and I sigh in relief. I've felt numb for so long, and this feels nice.

The rain is cold against my skin, and I look up at the sky, my hair already starting to flatten against my face.

~~~

I start to put on fresh clothes, after almost a week wearing the same things. I finally showered.

"Gee! come here!" I hear Mikey yell from downstairs.

What the hell does he want?

I walk downstairs, and the moment I set foot into the living room I get tackled in a giant group hug.

"Dude, we've been worried." Awsten says, pulling back from the hug

"Exactly. Why did you ignore us like that?" Ryan asks, his hand interlaced with Brendon's

We all pull back, and 18 pairs of curious eyes fall on me.

"It's-" I start, taking a deep breath "It's just that I had one of my episodes recently and I've been closing on myself and I just feel like you all don't care anymore and-"

"You really do?" Tyler asks. He's always been the one to understand me the most when it comes to stuff like this.  
"We're so, so sorry Gee. We didn't mean to. At least, Josh and I didn't, and I think the others think the same."

"It's not your fault, it's really just me not being en-" I try to say, but Emerson cuts me off

"Don't you dare say that. Absolutely not." He reprimands, his tone stern.

"Sorry" I reply, voice barely loud enough to be heard

"Don't be. This is not anyone's fault you're feeling like this, but don't say that, please." Patrick adds. He's always looked out for me.

He's always looked out for me. I feel stupid now. I pushed them all away and hurt them and made them concerned for me.

"I'm so sorry for pushing you away guys, only now I realize how stupid and irrational I'm being" I apologize.

I'was just being stupid and irrational and impulsive and I hurt them and I shouldn't have and-

I snap myself out of it. Now it's not the time

"Well, it's nothing that pizza and video games can't fix, you know?" Brendon says, Ray and Joe nodding in confirm

"And dog suits" Otto adds (a/n the crave mv)

"Dog suits?" I ask, confused.

"Dog suits and unicycles" He confirms.

I don't even question that kind of stuff anymore.

"Anyways, that hair color suits you. It's cool." Ryan adds, his own head of colorful hair shining in the light. He has redyed it.

"You really think so? Thank you." I reply politely.

"Should I call Frank too, while you set up the console or?" I ask, unsure. Maybe they don't want him here.

After a chorus of "Yeah", "If you want" from the group and a "as long as you don't fuck on the couch" from Pete I go upstairs, in my room, and grab my phone to call him.

Calling Flower Boy 🌸

"Hey Gee what's up? I've been missing you" He says cheerfully

"Well, I was kind of an asshole for ignoring you all, so tonight we're all having a party and probably a sleepover too. Do you want to come? If you don't want to walk in the rain I can come pick you up with Patrick's car or something" I say, smiling at his cheery attitude

"Yeah, that would be cool. And no, don't worry, I'll walk. It's not that far" He reassures "I'll be over in less than twenty minutes, see you Gee"

"Bye Frankie, see you in twenty" I greet, and close the call.

I walk back downstairs, the guys sitting on any piece of furniture that can be used as a chair.

"Why am I not surprised?" I ask, pointing to Awsten's, Otto's and Geoff's dog suits, and Otto's unicycle by the window.

"Shut up. We're beautiful" Awsten sasses, crossing his arms.

"I never said you weren't" I sass back, crossing my own arms.

"Guys, how many pizzas should we order?" Mikey asks from the kitchen, phone in hand.

"Well, with Frank we're twenty. So, like what, eight extra large pizzas?" Dallon replies, all of us nodding in agreement.

"Okay" he says, and disappears back into the kitchen

~~~

We're all sprawled out on the pieces of furniture of the living room, pizza boxes and empty cans of soda all pushed in a pile a corner.

The other guys are playing mario kart, we're doing a little tournament. Frank an I have already lost. It's always gonna come to Mikey and Brendon in the end.

All of the others except for Awsten, Geoff, Otto, Remington, Emerson and Sebastian have lost too. L

"TAKE THAT YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Brendon yells, trying to elbow Mikey.

"Shut up, I'm still ahead of you" He replies, trying to fight Brendon's elbow with his own.

I feel Frank's head stir in my lap. He refuses to leave me alone tonight, because "You scared me you asshole!"

"Gee?" He asks, whispering.

"Yeah?" I reply, whispering, too.

"I just wanted to say sorry, you know?" He apologizes, looking at me in the eyes.

"For what?" I reply, confused.

"For making you feel like you weren't enough, even just for a second" He clarifies, sadness clear on his features

"Frank, please, don't blame yourself. You have done nothing but helped me. Okay? It's not your fault or the other guys'" I say sincerely. I don't want them to blame themselves.

"Okay." He replies. I can tell that he isn't sure of it.

He goes back to watching the others play, and I find myself staring at him, my hand mindlessly playing with his hair. He smiles a little.

His makeupless face makes him look more peaceful, the pale skin looking smooth and soft. I look at how his eyes attentively stare at my other friends, curious to find out the winner. It's always gonna be Mikey. His long, dark eyelashes cast the tiniest of shadows on his slightly red cheeks.

He's beautiful. Really fucking beautiful.

Oh shit. I find him beautiful.

~~~  
A/n here it it, chapter 8. 

Kiss me ~ 9

Song(s): Kiss me Kiss me, 5 seconds of summer

I look up to the warm night sky, the house comfortingly loud. People talking, yelling, and I'm sure I've heard Ray, Andy, Ryan and Ryan playfully arguing, too.

I'm sitting on the windowsill of the dining room, a cigarette between my lips. I've picked up the habit again.

I started smoking at 15. Then, as I stopped cutting months ago I dropped them too.

I don't like it, but this is better than ugly scars.

I take a drag, and hear someone coming into the room.

"Hey Gee, are you alright?" He says, voice calm and soothing. It's Frank.

"Yeah, I just needed a smoke. And I know Mikey doesn't like when I smoke near him. I'm not isolating myself, don't worry" I reassure, making some room for him.

He takes the hint, and sits next to me.

"Are you sure?" He asks again.

I nod, and he thankfully drops the subject.

"I like the sky tonight" he says, looking up to the thousands of tiny stars lighting up the jet black sky. It stopped raining a long time ago. The little bit of wind feels nice on my over heated skin.

"Yeah. It's pretty." I reply, taking another drag of the cancer stick.

Frank doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he steals it from my fingers and I let him. I don't mind. He takes a couple of drags, finishing it.

"Can I tell you something?" He asks, as he throws the end of the cigarette to the ground. His hands are shaking, and he looks at me.  
"I've never done this, and please, please don't freak out on me" he continues, getting closer to me.

"I promise I won't" I reply, taking his hand, and giving it a tiny, gentle squeeze, to calm him down a little.

"Gerard, I-" he breathes out "I like you. Like, like you in more than a friendly way"

Oh.

Silence falls between us.

I look at him, taken aback.

What the hell? How could he like me? I'm not special. I'm not pretty or smart. I'm just me. Plain, boring me.

I do like him. But I don't get how he could like me. He's just so kind and smart and so goddamn gorgeous, and he's been there for me. And we might be moving a little too fast but I honestly can't seem to care.

"Frank, I-" I try to say, but he cuts me off.

"It's fine, I get it. It really is. I wasn't expecting you to like me back and I tend to fall for people too fast anyways and this happens a lot-" he rambles, and I cut him off by planting my lips on his.

His whole body stiffens, and he pulls back, startled.

"You just kissed me. Oh my god. You actually kissed me" he rambles, and looks at me, wide eyed and blushing.

I suddenly feel bad. I should've asked him.

"You didn't want me to? I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry Frank, I-" this time I'm cut off by his lips on mine.

I melt under his touch, my arms wrapping around his neck, my fingers tangling themselves in his hair. Our lips move in sync, his hands gently gripping my hips.

He swings one his legs over mine, and sits on my lap. His hands grip my hips tighter and his thumbs slip under my shirt, feeling  
the bare skin.

Fuck yeah.

He pulls back, and looks at me fondly, eyes shining and rosy cheeks. He looks so beautiful like this, and now that we're up close I can see the tiny specks of gold in his eyes, the remains of eyeliner around his lashes, the tiny little freckles on his face.

"Does this mean that...?" He trails off, looking down.

"Yeah. If you want to" I reply, grinning.

He smiles back, glittery eyes and messed up hair making him even more beautiful in my eyes.

"Can I kiss you again?" He asks shyly, starting to delicately rub circles with his thumbs.

I slide my hands down, and cup his face with my hands. I gently brush the pad of my thumbs over his lips and then I lean in, gently brushing our lips together, the kiss much softer and fond than the heated one we shared before.

He relaxes in my arms, his hands now lazily running up and down my sides.

"I fucking told you! You all owe me money now!" Pete yells from the doorway, startling the both of us.

"Fucking hell Gee, I eat in there!" Mikey replies, leaning against the door, his face in his hands.

Frank hides his face in the crook of my neck, clearly embarassed, his burning cheeks heating my cold skin.

"Shut up, it's not like I haven't seen you and Pete making out in here. Multiple times, even" I sassily reply.

Now Mikey is the one blushing. He grabs Pete's hand and starts to walk away. Frank giggles a little at that.

He gets off my lap, and hopps off the windowsill. I already miss his warmth against me.

I do the same, and walk up to his side, intertwining his fingers.

"You're comfortable with the others knowing, right? I mean, Pete already told them but I can tell them to be lowkey about it." I say, as we make our way into the living room.

"I mean, I don't mind. I want to be disgustingly cute with you. As long as that's okay with you" he replies, looking at our hands. He looks up at me and flashes me a big smile.

"It was fucking time dude!" Brendon says, as we enter the room.

"Shut up, you took two years to ask Ryan out" I sass back, as I sit back on the couch, Frank sitting right next to me, glued to my side.

"Wait, where are Josh and Ty?" Frank asks, looking around the room

"They went to taco bell. Pete was going to ask you if you wanted something but you were kinda making out on a windowsill, you know." Joe speaks up from the corner of the room, where he's sitting.

I look down at Frank, and we grin at each other.

"Yeah, we were." We reply, together

~~~

A/N THIS WAS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE TO WRITE TBH. BUT IN A GOOD WAY.

Btw, am i the only one that's obsessed with the panic! bohemian rhapsody cover??

Cats, cuddles and pride flags ~ 10

Song(s): birthday, all time low (It's my birthday lmao)

I wake up to screaming.

"Fucking hell Josh! Keep that elbow to yourself or I'll shove it up so far up your ass you'll walk with your shoulder!" (A/n what the fuck did i just write) I hear Otto scream from Mikey's room, where him and the other guys went to sleep, leaving Frank and I alone in my room.

"Shut up! You're going to wake the others!" I hear Tyler yell back, probably woken up by the yelling too.

I feel Frank shift and turn in my arms. I let go of him and look over at the clock on my bedside table. It's freaking 5 in the morning and those fuckers are already making noise.

"What the hell was that?" Frank slurres, half asleep.

"Nothing, it's just the guys yelling. Don't worry, go back to sleep flower." I reply, brushing the hair out of his face.

He smiles, and cuddles back into my side, his face hiding in my shoulder and one of his legs over my hips.

"You called me flower" he says, voice muffled by my shirt

"Yeah, you're still my flower boy. Even more now than before" I reply, looking at him.

He hums in response, and closes his eyes, trying to sleep again.

He looks so pretty. The smooth, rosy skin of his face soft against me, the long, coal black eyelashes casting gentle shadows on his face, the galaxies of colours hidden behind his closed eyes, the earthy, warm browns, the bright greens of the grass and the warm yellows of the sun mixing into my favourite colour.

He's beautiful. My little flower.

I kiss his forehead, and try to sleep too, satisfied smiles on both our faces.

~~~

Frank's pov (a/n surprise lol)

I wake up to something fluffy on my face. My eyes snap open. It's a cat.

I get off of Gerard and sit up the bed, the cat curled up on my lap.

What the hell?

Gerard shifts slightly and opens his eyes

"Frank, what's wrong?" He asks sleepily, rubbing his eyes. He looks at the cat in my lap and sighs 

"Mikey! Goddamnit, come here and take Mitch back to your fucking room! You know I'm allergic" he yells, a bit annoyed.  
"Sorry for the yelling, it's just that I don't like when he sleeps on my bed because he sheds fur a lot and then I keep on sneezing for months" he explains, while I gently pet the animal.

"Are you both decent? Can I come in?" Someone asks from outside the room

"Yes Pete, come in. Take this little fucker out before I start sneezing" He says, taking Mitch.

"Now, you know I love you, you little fucker, but I don't want to get sick okay?" He whispers to the animal, quiet enough that Pete can't hear him and hands it to him, who silently grabs it and exits the room.

"That was adorable, you know?" I say, looking at him.

"You weren't supposed to hear that" he mumbles back, giggling.

I tackle him down on the bed, laying on top of him, my head in the crook of his neck.  
I start brushing my nose against the skin in a sort of eskimo kiss, and he starts giggling

"Stop! That tickles" he laughs, pulling my head away.

I lay my head on his chest, staring at him in the eyes. "I really, really like you, you know?" I say.

He blushes, and replies "I really like you too, flower"

His eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips, asking for permission. I slowly lean in, his arms rest on my back, and my hands tangle themselves in his hair. Our lips brush together, a small spark of happiness runs down my spine. He closes the gap between us, our lips moving lazily in a soft, warm kiss.

He rolls us over, so we're laying on our sides, and I cuddle even closer, feeling his heartbeat against me.

"I still can't believe you accepted me" I say softly

I really can't believe how I've been here for just three weeks and I got myself an amazing group of friends and a boyfriend, an amazing one I might even say.

"I did flower, I did. You're literally glued to my chest right now" He laughs, tracing random patterns on my clothed back with his hand.

Silence falls between us, the only noises heard are the chatter of the other guys in the room next to us and the clashing of pots and pans of someone cooking downstairs.

"I want to take you on a date" He says, nuzzling his nose in my hair

"Okay" I reply shortly. I don't want this moment of peace to end.

We hear a small knock at the door, and a cotton candy colored head peeks into the room.

"We've made breakfast downstairs, are you hungry?" Josh says, clearly aware of the fact that he interrupted a moment.

~~~

I run the pads of my fingertips over the pictures taped to the wall in Gerard's room.  
There are dozens of them, ranging from group photos to landscapes. I look at the landscape ones, they're mostly of flowers and of rainy days. One in particular catches my eye. It's a pride flag draped in a field of daisies. Our field of daisies.

I feel a pair of strong arms around my waist, and I let out a scream, startled. I quickly turn around, only to be faced with a giggling Gerard.

"I'm sorry flower. I didn't mean to scare you." He apologizes "I see you like that picture. I took that after meeting you, you know?"

"Really? It's pretty. Do you have that pride flag here?" I ask. I really want to see one, I've never had the chance to.

"Yeah, it should be somewhere in my closet" he replies, going over to it

"It's funny. You keep in in a closet" I joke, sitting on the bed.

"Oh, fuck off Frankie" he replies, pulling the slightly wrinkled piece of fabric from a drawer "Why did you want to see this anyways?"

"Well, I kinda really want to pin one up on my bedroom wall, but I'm not out yet, so I kind of can't, you know." I reply, as he drapes the flag over me, almost like a cape. I smile at that, and hug it close to my chest. I feel a camera's flash on me and I look at Gerard, the picture he snapped of me coming out of a slot on its side.

"You looked cute" he says, sitting next to me, to show me the developing picture.

I blush, and look down. "I'm not cute, shut up" i mumble.

He gently cups my face, and softly pecks me on the lips. "You're the cutest person I've ever seen." He praises, and walks up to the wall, where he sticks the picture with the others.

"Come on, let's go. The others wanted to go out"

~~~  
A/N WHOOP HERE IT IS! This is a filler chapter and it's fucking shitty, and it took WAY too long to write (my excuse in that Friday, one of the days i usually write on, was my birthday) but at least is kinda fluffy lmao.

First date ~ 11

A/n: sorry. This is super rushed and shitty and unedited

Song(s): nine in the afternoon, panic! at the disco

I grip the steering wheel of my mother's car tightly, my knuckles turning white.

Saying that I'm nervous is an understatement.

I pull up in Frank's driveway, the way too thick leather jacket I'm wearing making me sweat.

'Relax, Gerard. It's just Frank, your boyfriend, your flower. This isn't even your first date ever. You'll be fine' I remind myself, before pulling out my phone, a brief 'I'm here, flower' what I text Frank.

Calm down Gerard. Deep breaths. You'll be fine.

I hear some screaming, and the front door of his house open and close, and suddenly Frank's open the passenger seat's door and is sitting next to me.

"Hi, flower" I say, starting the car's engine.

"Oh god. You don't know how fucking much I want to kiss you right now" he replies, without even saying 'hello'. But I don't mind.

I get out of his driveway, slightly frowning.

"Why didn't you kiss me, then. Unless I say otherwise I don't really mind you know" I say, thinking that consent was what he needed.

"No, it's not that, Gee. It's just that, you know, my parents would have seen us" He replies, clearly upset.

Oh.

"I'm sorry." I say, taking one hand off the wheel, to grip his hand.

"Don't be" he frowns, shaking his head.

I pull over into the parking lot of the place where I planned to take him.

I turn to him. He's staring straight ahead, his facial features contorted into a mask of sadness.

"Frankie, look at me" I demand, softly squeezing his hand tighter.

He turns to look at me, I cup his face in my hands, and peck him on the forehead.  
He gives me a shaky smile, his features now softer.

"Now. Today is all about us, okay?" I say, and peck him on the lips "We can talk about that later, okay?"

He nods, getting out of the car. I follow him, and lock the car.

I walk up to him, and intertwine our fingers, silently asking if he's comfortable with acting like a couple.

He looks at our hands, and smiles.

"So, where are you taking me?" He asks, swinging his hands between us, our palms already sweaty because of the scorching summer heat.

"You'll see. I already know you'll love it though" I reassure, smiling at his excitement.

I look back up, and I start to see a bit of the roller coasters in the distance.

"No way! You know I wanted to come here!" He squeals, and gets on his tip toes to kiss me on the cheek "Thank you" he adds, smiling even wider.

He reminds me of a child.

We walk in silence towards the entrance, small smiles on both of our faces.

As get close to the fair, his face looks like it could split in half from how wide he's smiling, his cheeks red and eyes sparkling. I can just feel the happiness radiate off of him.

"Can we go on that?" He asks, pointing to a ride on our left.

"The freefall tower? Are you sure?" I ask. I'm scared shitless of heights.

"Yeah. Please?" He replies, making puppy eyes at me.

I sigh, but agree, and he drags me to the ticket booth, and he reaches for his wallet, but I stop him

"No, I'm paying. I asked you out, so it's on me" I say, and he frowns, but eventually stops trying.

I hand the cashier the money for two tickets, and the guy standing next to the gate surrounding the ride lets us through.

"You could've let me pay, you know. The next date's on me" he demands, as we sit into two of the seats, an employee securing us in

"Okay, but now take my fucking hand, I hate heights" i say, and he takes my shaking hand in his, soothingly rubbing circles on the skin

"You could've told me" he says, but I don't reply.

We're moving.

I take a deep breath, and Frank squeezes my hand a little tighter.

We stop.

I squeeze Frank's hand harder, my eyes closed shut.

The seats drop, and I relese a high pitched scream, adrenaline rushing through my veins.

In seconds it's over, amd the second we're allowed to get out of the seats I sigh in relief.

"I'm never going to do that again. Absolutely not" I say, and Frank shakes his head, smiling.

"It's okay baby. You were so brave, okay?" He replies, getting on his tip toes to kiss my cheek

"How about we go on a couple of rides, and then we get something to eat, and then we go on the ferris wheel?" I suggest, and he nods. 

~~~

"Do you want the pink and blue one or the classic one?" I ask, referring to the cotton candy we had decided to buy.

"The colorful one" he replies, and I nod.

We pay for the food, and move to a bench nearby.

"Can I take a bite of yours?" He asks. I chose the classic, white one.

I nod, and tear a small piece of it, offering it to him.

"Can I taste yours?" I ask, as he bites a strip off of his.

He nods, and I lean in, pecking him on the lips, and he squeaks in surprise, but doesn't complain, pulling me in for another kiss.

"It's good" I say, and he giggles.

"Excuse me, would you take a picture of us with my phone?" A tall girl shyly asks, her long, blonde and purple hair slightly moving from the wind

"If you don't mind" the person next to her adds, equally as shyly. They're shorter, about Frank's height, their hair somewhat resembling his.

"Yeah, okay" I smile at them, and take the girl's phone, handing my cotton candy to Frank.

They walk a few steps back, and the shorter person gets on their tip toes, pecking the taller girl on the lips.

I smile, and snap the picture.

"Thank you" the girl says, showing the picture to her datemate, and they nod in approvement.

"No problem. You two are a cute couple, by the way" I reply, still smiling at them.

The couple smiles back, and starts to walk away.

"They're cute together. They remind me of a genderbent version of us" Frank says, and I nod in agreement.

We decide to walk around for a little bit, quietly eating our candy, our fingers intertwined between us, our arms swinging lightly.

I look around, the orange hues of the setting sun gently painting everything. The people around us, mostly teenage couples and kids, a big group of friends and the couple I just took a picture of standing out to my eye.

I feel so calm. The bright lights, the chatter of people, the warmth of Frank's hand against mine.

~~~

We sit on top of the ferris wheel, but this time I don't feel as scared. Frank's body is pressed against my side, his hair tickling my neck.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispers, and I nod, leaning in.

Our lips brush together gently, and he closes the gap between us, his soft, cotton candy tasting lips and soft touches driving me crazy.

He's the first to pull back, and as he does, the wheel starts moving again.

And strangely, all of my fear and anxiety melts away, leaving space to the small boy next to me.

~~~

I pull up at the beginning of Frank's street, and before he can ask why, I'm leaning in to kiss him again, since I won't be able to kiss him goodbye in front of his parents.

He catches the hint, and pulls me in, kissing me.

"Thank you" he says, and I smile.

~~~

A/N I'M SO SORRY. THIS IS SOOO SHITTY. I KNOW. It's just that Christmas and my lovely datemate (@MerlinMorganEmrys) have been taking up my time. (I'm not complaining, I really like them)

Little fun fact: the girl asking for a picture is me. The other person is my datemate 

4th of july ~ 12

A/n We! Reached! 200! Reads!!!! Thank you!

Song(s): fourth of july, fall out boy  
Vegas lights, panic! at the disco  
Gossip, sleeping with sirens

ForeheadMan: so, we're all going to Ryan's and send our parents to Andy's, is that okay with everyone?  
Ryro: yep, i don't know how my parents agreed to this  
Lemongee: yep  
Lil bro: yes (pete agrees too)  
Remi: we all said yes  
Andy: yep, my parents agree, and it's fine for joe and pat too  
Ty: yep  
Tree: yep  
Frankie <3: i don't know if i can make it, text me ryan's address anyways.  
Josh: location attached  
Josh: can i bring my water guns?  
Fedora: as long as we don't end up like last year. I still have that scar on my shoulder

I frown, and switch off my phone. I really wanted him there.

I get out of bed anyways, and make my way to my closet, taking a random tank top from it.

I quickly get dressed and grumpily go downstairs. I really need a cup of coffee, and possibly a cigarette too.

I pour myself a cup of coffee, and go back upstairs, where I'll stay until Mikey drags me out of my room to go to Ryan's.

I sit at my desk, and light up a cigarette, mentally sighing in relief the moment I bring its end to my lips, the sweet drug easing my tense muscles.

~~~

"Gerard! Get your ass out here, we're going!" Mikey yells, knocking at the door.

It's already time to go? How the fuck?

"Yeah, wait a second" I yell back, finishing the last detail of the little doodle of a daisy I had made on my arm.

I quickly get ouf the room, grabbing my phone and wallet on my way out.

"Dude, what the hell is that on your chest?" I ask, looking at Mikey's chest, where way too big tank top slid down.

"Uh, it isn't a hickey, if that's what you're thinking about" he replies, fixing his shirt

Pete gets out of Mikey's room, smirking.

It totally is.

I shake my head, smiling. I won't tease him about it. At least, not now.

I get out of the house, Mikey and Pete behind me

"Okay, so, we have to pick up Awsten, Otto and Geoff since Awsten's mum took his car, sorry Gee, you're going to have to squish in the backseat" Pete says, unlocking his car.

I shrug, and get in the backseat.

"Wait, what about Ray?" Mikey asks, getting in the passenger seat.

"He's at Dallon's. He, Dal and Ryan are walking there." Pete explains, and starts up the car.

After that, the car becomes silent. I would ask Pete to turn on some music, but his car radio has been stolen a couple of months ago by someone in our school.

~~~

"Ow, fuck, keep that elbow to yourself" Otto yells, as Geoff is trying to sit in Awsten's lap.

"Babe, you're squishing my dick" Awsten says, as Geoff closes the goddamn car door

"Please, tell me you haven't fucked back here" Geoff asks Mikey, as Pete starts to drive away.

"Well, not in the last month" Pete replies, and I make a fake gagging noise.

Geoff makes a disgusted face, curling up into Awsten, trying to touch as little of the seats as possible.

~~~

"Do I even have to ask why?" I ask Brendon.

He's wearing high heels. And red booty shorts. I'm not concerned for the shorts, it's not the first time he wears them. I'm concerned for the thigh high boots he's wearing.

"I, uh, lost a bet to Tyler" he explains.

I look at Tyler. He's on the other side of Ryan's backyard, quietly talking with Josh and Ray.

"And he's wearing a skirt because he lost a bet to Dallon" Brendon adds, and tries to walk away, but he's clearly struggling.

"Apparently, grass and high heels don't mix well" Ryan says, going over to Brendon, helping him. 

"Alright fuckers! Come here and take a water gun each!" Josh yells, holding a basket full of plastic water guns.

"First of all, where did you get those? Second of all, that basket is my mom's. Break it and I'm dead" Ryan says, but grabs a gun anyways.

"Uh, you don't want to know. Now, a few ground rules. The guns can be filled with water and water only. I'm looking at you, Pete" he says, as Pete grabs a gun "No gun stealing or throwing. We don't want any trips to the emergency room"

"If you get shot, you're out. No excuses." Otto adds, as he takes his gun.

"Now, three! two! one! everyone run!" Josh screams, and we all start running away, clutching our weapons.

Brendon is the first to fall. His high heel gets stuck in the dirt and he falls face first into the grass, and Sebestian takes the chance, shooting the back of his head.

Ryan and Mikey are fighting back to back, and Otto is the next to fall.

The other Ryan is running from Patrick, but doesn't see Brendon laying in the grass, and he falls on top of him, Patrick succefully shooting him.

Awsten and Joe are wrestling in the grass, trying to shoot each other, and Pete shoots them from a tree, hiding in the branches.

I hide behind a bush, and I suddenly feel a gun being pointed to the back of my head.

I freeze, the sound of Josh, Dallon and Ryan screaming the only sound I can hear.  
Ryan falls to the ground, dramatically faking his death.  
The person behind me is about to shoot, but they fall in defeat.

"Frank, fuck you! I was about to kill him!" Emerson yells, and I turn around.

"Frank!" I exclaim, and get up, hugging him.

"Who's left to kill?" He asks, hugging me back.

"I think Josh, Tyler-" I get cut off by Tyler and Josh screaming. "Remington, Sebastian, Mikey, Ray, Pat, Andy, Pete and Geoff"

He nods, and grabs my arm, pulling me towards a tree.

We hear a noise, and look up. It's Pete. He smirks, and points his gun towards us, but he gets shot. It's Mikey.

Before I can even blink Frank has already shot him, and Mikey dramatically falls to the ground.

"Fuck you, Frank" he says, but he's smiling anyways.

I turn around, to see Sebastian walking towards us. He freezes, and without a second thought, I shoot him.

Someone scrams, and the noise of someone falling is heard.

"Patrick! You motherfucker" Remington screams. He died.

"Gee! Careful!" Mikey screams, getting up.

Frank turns around, and he's tackled to the ground by Ray, his gun falling to the side. Ray is about to shoot him, and I shoot him at the back of his head, soaking his hair.

"Aw, fuck. I can't believe you've done this" he says, but gets off of Frank anyways.

Before I can even process what happened in the last thirty seconds, another scream is heard, and a loud thump is heard.

We all look towards the noise. Patrick and Geoff both died.

We won. Frank and I won.

"We won" He says, and I nod.

"We won! Take that motherfuckers!" He screams, and jumps in my arms, dropping his gun.

~~~

We all sit in a circle around the fire Brendon and Ryan made a couple of hours ago.

Mikey and Pete are sitting close, lost in their own little world. Brendon, Ryan, Dallon and Ryan are quietly chatting together. The kropp brothers are playing with some sparklers, while Patrick takes pictures. Tyler and Josh are sitting on the ground on a blanket, Tyler's head in Josh's lap. All the other ones are playing some random multiplayer game on their phones.

Frank stirs in my lap, so he's facing me, careful not to make me fall off the chair we're on.

"I had fun today" he says, nuzzling his face against my neck.

"I had fun too" I reply, smiling.

"You know what would make this day even better?" He says, and looks up at me, cupping my face with his hands.

We stare into each other's eyes, the fire reflecting onto his eyes coloring his irises gold.

He's beautiful.

I lean in, brushing our lips together softly, the kiss barely a kiss at all.

He gasps softly, pulling back a little. Before I can ask what's wrong he whispers "Oh my god, you have freckles" staring in awe at my skin

"Yeah, I do" I reply, my voice in between a whisper and a giggle.

He starts to trace them gently with his thumb, as if he was wiping away tears.

I smile, and he pulls me in for another kiss.

"I love freckles" is all he says after we pull away

~~~  
A/n hi guys! I wanted to thank you for passing 200 reads!  
Edit: they're 220 now! Thank you!  
Sorry if this looks rushed but i'm super stressed and i really wanted to update. At least it's a bit longer than usual.

Scars ~ 13

song(s): i've got a dark alley, fall out boy (i'm not typing that)  
last young renegade, all time low

TRIGGER WARNING: warning for scars/mention of self harm and body image issues. Pm me for the plot if you can't read this, stay safe.

~~~

I quietly sit on the edge of the pool in Ray's backyard. It's his birthday, but we aren't really celebrating.

I watch Frank swim near me, his faded hair plastered to his face. He doesn't seem to care though.

I don't feel that happy today, but I don't think that anybody has noticed. I wasn't expecting them to.

I stare off in the distance. Mikey is swimming with Pete, Dallon, Ryan, and the Kropp brothers are playing some weird game I can't really recognize, Patrick, Joe, and Andy are talking to Ray, Otto is about to push Awsten and Geoff in the pool.

I don't want to know where Brendon and Ryan went.

I look down at myself. My legs look green from the chlorine in the water, and the bright red swimsuit from two years ago fits me awkwardly. It's a bit too small, but whatever.

I slowly trace one of the scars on the front of my thighs. My swimsuit has ridden up a little, and a few of them show.

I touch and poke at the healed skin, feeling old memories wash over me.

The cold metal of a razor blade against the pale, smooth skin of fat thighs, a young, barely fifteen years old Gerard the hand behind it.

I quickly pull the clothing down, covering the skin. Now it's not the time.

"Gee, what's up? You're being quiet today" Frank asks me, as he pulls himself up to sit next to me.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about me" I reply, and he frowns.

"You know you can talk to me, right? I won't judge you or anything." He says, and I shrug.

"I know. It's nothing though, don't worry" I reply, tearing my gaze from my legs, so I can look at him.

He nods, but I can tell that he isn't convinced. I already know that he's going to ask me about it later, once we're alone.

"Can you swim with me for a bit? I feel like an asshole for leaving you here alone" He says, and I shake my head in response

"Frank, flower, I can't swim" I remind him, as I play with the hem of my t-shirt.

The water isn't that deep. I just don't want to take my shirt off.

Nobody, other than myself and Mikey has seen my scars.

~~~

I look at myself in the mirror of the bathroom, my hair still wet from the shower I took to wash the chlorine off my skin.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down. It's just Frank.

I shakily open the door.

Frank is sitting on my bed, staring at the pictures taped to my wall.

He quickly turns around, and pats the spot next to him, silently asking me to sit there.

"What's happening Gee? Is everything alright?" He asks, worried, as I sit next to me.

"Today I'm just sad." I explain briefly "It's just one of those days."

He nods, but doesn't say anything.

"And I've just been more self conscious of my body now that you're around. I'm afraid that you're going to leave once I show you what's under my clothes." I say, my voice shaking, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

"You really think that?" He asks "Gerard, baby, look at me" I look up from the ground "I'd never leave you for something as superficial as scars, if that's what you're worried about. I already knew you had them before I even kissed you for the first time"

"I-" I breathe out "I don't even know anymore. I'm just scared to show them. Mikey is the only one who has seen them"

My hands start to shake.

"Baby, don't worry. You don't have to show them to me. I don't care" he says, taking my hands in his.

"I want to. It's better for you to see them now that you can still leave" I reply, tears falling from my eyes.

He wordlessly wipes my tears away, before pulling me into a hug.

"I'll never leave you over something like this. I really don't care" he says, attempting to soothe me.

I bury my face against his neck, quietly sobbing against his skin.

"They're disgusting" I reply, and he shushes me.

"I'm sure that they aren't. And I'm not going to leave. I like you too much to leave you, okay?" He replies, and I pull back from the hug.

I stand back up, and slowly pull up my shirt, my eyes screwed shut with fear.

I let the fabric fall to the ground.

Silence falls between us, and I feel Frank's eyes on my skin, picking at it and analyzing the scars.

"You- you can leave now. You can say that I'm disgusting." I say, as I feel his hands on my hips

"Baby, open your eyes" he replies, gently caressing my hips.

I carefully open my eyes, but his face isn't a disgusted one. It's more of a sad one.

Frank's pov

I carefully touch the skin on his hips.

This isn't nearly as bad as I thought.

Hundreds of tiny white lines litter the skin of his soft hips and of his slightly chubby belly.

One of them stands out. It goes from his left hip to his belly button. I slowly trace the bumpy skin with my thumb, and Gerard starts to shake under my touch.

"Please, talk. Say something" he pleads, shaking.

Tears are falling from his eyes, running down his face and neck

"There's nothing I can say. They're just scars. They don't make you less beautiful. And those stretch marks. Even i have them on the back of my thighs. It's not a big deal" I reassure him, and gently wipe away his tears for the second time today.

"You're actually okay with them?" He asks, unsure. I nod, pulling him in a hug again.

"I have them on my thighs too. It's just that-" he tries to say, but I cut him off

"You don't have to show me those. I don't care"

He sighs, clearly relieved.

~~~

I can't really tell what time it is, but it's kind of late.

I'm laying in Gerard's bed, his sleeping form next to me. He fell asleep a couple of hours ago.

I'm quietly reading on my phone. I can't sleep.

"Flower?" Gerard calls out quietly, his face buried in his pillow

"Yeah?" I reply, placing my phone on his nightstand.

"Cuddle me" he demands, and I happily oblige. I turn around, and spoon him from behind.

I place a couple of kisses on his neck, before burying my nose in his hair.

I inhale his scent, intertwining our naked legs.

"Goodnight baby" I whisper, seconds before my eyes drop shut, and I finally fall asleep.

~~~  
A/n that was an emotional rollercoaster for me.

I know that I haven't updated in like a week but I've gone back to school and I would've published days ago but I lost the other draft for this chapter, I was writing on my laptop and forgot to save.

Ice Cream ~ 14

Song(s): cemetery drive, mcr

I sit quietly at my desk, a cigarette between my lips, a pen in my hand.

I start to fidget with the small object, concentrating on the piece of paper in front of me.

I take the last drag out of the cigarette, and throw its remains in the trash can.

I add some details to the drawing of Josh I'm doing, but it doesn't convince me.

I give up on drawing him, and slam my sketchbook shut.

I hear a notification from my phone, startling me.

Frankie <3: Do you want to go somewhere today? I'm bored  
LemonGee: I was planning of staying at home today, but sure  
Frankie <3: I'll be over in an hour or so

I switch off my phone, and look at the clock on my bedside table. It's one forty seven.

I get up, and stretch a little. I have enough time to take a shower.

~~~

I sit at my desk again, mindlessly scrolling through instagram.

There's a soft knock at my door, and before I can ask who's knocking, the door opens, and Frank comes inside the room.

His eyes are expertly circled with eyeliner and he has his lip ring in.

"Is that my shirt?" I ask, looking at the way the fabric hangs off of his body, engulfing him.

I've been looking for it for the past week, and that little shit took it.

"Yes, it is. Hello to you too by the way" he sasses back.

"Well, hi Frank, uh, where the fuck did you take that?" I ask back, and he shrugs in response.

"It appeared in my backpack one day and I didn't question it, anyways, do you have any ideas on what we could do?" He replies, as I get up from my chair.

"Maybe go for a walk in the city centre? There's this ice cream shop that just opened and Mikey says it's good." I suggest, and he nods

"Sounds good" he replies with a shrug, before adding "Anyways, I'm paying today, no excuses"

"We'll see. Now, let's go. Pete and Mikey are in the other room and mom's not home" I say, quickly repressing the thought of the time I walked in on them "I don't want to accidentally walk in on them again"

He giggles, and grabs my hand, leading us outside of the room

~~~

We walk hand in hand through one of the streets of the city centre.

We're both silent, observing our surroundings.

The people around us don't seem to care about the fact that we're holding hands.

"Do plants have feelings?" Frank suddenly asks, looking at me

"What the fuck Frank?" I reply, confused.

"I don't know. I was getting sick of staying quiet" he says, and I shake my head

"Frank, baby, you could have said anything else" I say, smiling.

"Did you just call me baby?" He asks, and I nod in response

"Yeah, I did, why?" I reply, confused.

"I like that" he says, getting on his tip toes to kiss me on the cheek.

"Anyways, we're almost there" I say, feeling a slight blush coat my cheeks from the unexpected affection.

"Aw, did I make you blush?" He teases, smiling.

"Yes, you did, shut up" I sass back, and he starts laughing.

"Aw baby, come here" he says, and gently cups my face, pecking me on the lips.

"What was that for?" I ask "Not that I'm complaining"

"You looked so cute I couldn't help myself" he explains, and I feel myself blush harder

"Shut up" I mumble, and he starts laughing again.

"I love making you blush" He says, as his laugh dies down into a smile.

"Anyways, that ice cream shop is just behind the corner, let's go" I say, changing subject.

I take his hand again, and we start walking towards the shop.

I hold open the door for him, and he dramatically says "thank you, my saviour" before bursting in a fit of giggles

I shake my head at the interaction, and silently hope that the girl behind the counter wasn't listening.

"Hello, may I take you order?" She asks sweetly, smiling.

"Yeah, uh, I'd like an oreo and strawberry cone please, and you Frank?" I say, as he walk up to me, and takes my hand

"The same as him, please" he says politely, and the girl nods.

"That'll be five dollars" she says, handing us the sweets.

Frank wordlessly pulls out his wallet, and pays the girl.

"Thank you, goodbye" she says cheerfully, as we exit the shop.

"Gee, careful. It's going to drip all over your hand" he says, as he bites into his food.

We decide to sit on a bench by the shop, our hands still intertwined. He doesn't seem to want to let go anytime soon.

We quickly finish our ice creams, happy, satisfied smiles making their way on our lips.

"What do you want to do now?" I ask, and he shrugs.

"I don't know? Maybe walk around for a bit?" He suggests, and I nod.

We get up, and I gently wrap my arm around his hips in a side hug.

He leans his head against my shoulder, as he hugs me back.

"Your shoulder is soft" he mumbles, as we start to walk towards one of the calmer streets.

"Thank you?" I say, unsure.

"It's a compliment" he sasses back.

I shouldn't even ask anymore.

~~~

I walk him to his front door, the warm hues of the setting sun casting perfect shadows on his olive skin.

"I had fun today" he says briefly "but there's one thing I'd like to do"

"What?" I ask, confused.

He cups my face, and pulls me down for a kiss.

Before I can process what's happening, I hear a scream

"What the hell are you doing with my son?"

~~~  
A/n i know, i'm a bad person lol

Goodbye ~ 15

Song(s): me against the devil, the relentless (from american satan)  
cadence of my heart, the relentless  
sleep, mcr

He quickly pulls back from the kiss, and we both look at the window of the first floor, where Frank's father is looking at us.

"Fuck!" He curses, as his father disappears from our sight "Run. Run and don't look back. I don't want him to hurt you"

"But-" I try to say, but he cuts me off.

"I'll be fine. He won't hurt me, now go." He says, and I peck him on the lips one last time, before turning away.

As I start to run down the street, tears threaten to fall.

That kiss felt like goodbye.

~~~  
Frank's pov

"What were you thinking? You're turning into one of those homosexuals, aren't you?" My father yells, roughly tugging me by my hand inside the house.

His touch was the exact opposite of Gerard's.

"Who is that boy? Answer me!" He screams, and I angrily rip his hand off of my arm.

"He's my boyfriend!" I snap at him, and his face contorts into a mask of disgust.

"Are fucking kidding me? You and that monster?" He says, and I have to refrain the urge to punch him in the face.

"Don't you dare speak about Gerard like that." I snarl at him through gritted teeth

"Oh, so his name is Gerard? What an unusual name, perfect for a sinner" He replies, and I'm about to jump up at him, but I hold myself back again.

"You don't even know him!" I snap, and he rolls his eyes

"Those people are all the same, they're all deranged maniacs. I'm doing this to protect you" he explains, like you would explain something to a toddler.

"Protect me? You're fucking kidding me, right?" I yell, and he sends me a warning glance

"Watch your mouth" he says, oddly calm.

"I don't fucking care about that right now. Apparently I'm a deranged maniac" I scream at the top of my lungs, beggining to lose the little bit of composure I had.

In a matter of seconds, he raises his hand, and slaps me, making me stumble backwards.

He had never laid a finger on me like this.

"That's enough. Give me your phone, and go up to your room. I'm going to talk about this your mother" He snaps, and I try to speak, but he sends me a warning glance.

I angrily take my phone out of my pocket, and throw it on the ground, before running up the stairs.

I go to my room, and slam the door shut.

I throw myself on my bed, curling up into the material of Gerard's shirt, the soft fabric still holding his scent.

Warm, thick tears start to stream down my face.

I think back to what just happened, my father's words painfully cutting through my skin like broken glass.

I think back to Gerard.

I think about his soft lips against mine in our last, rushed kiss.

I wonder if he got home yet.

I blindly reach for a folded piece of paper I left on my nightstand.

I unfold it, the familiar printed out picture of Gerard and I Mikey took on the 4th of July bringing me even more sadness.

I was planning of taping it to my wall, just like Gerars does with his pictures.

I hold it to my chest, my own sobs echoing through the cold, empty room.

~~~

"Frankie, wake up, we have to talk" a feminine voice says.

I slowly open my eyes.

I had fallen asleep, still holding the picture against my chest.

"Mom?" I ask, confused.

"Your father told me what happened" she explains, and sadness washes over me once again.

"If you're here to yell at me, the door is there" I say, gesturing in the vague direction of it.

"I'm here to talk, Frank" she says, and I sigh, sitting up.

Before I can even open my mouth again, she's hugging me, soothingly rubbing my back.

"Frank, I'm so sorry about what happened." She says, and I shrug.

After all, that's what I deserved, wasn't it?

"I don't know how he could have treated you like that. I tried to make him reason, but he doesn't want to listen" she says "I don't care about who like and who you choose to have a relationship with, as long as you're happy"

"You're really on my side about this?" I ask, and she nods.

"I just want for you to be happy. I don't care about the gender of the person you choose to be with" she repeats, and I silently thank her.

"What's that?" She asks, pointing to the crumpled up picture I'm still holding to my chest.

"It's a photo of Gerard and I" I explain, holding it out to her.

She smiles, and gently takes the piece of paper from my hands.

"He's cute" she says, inspecting it.

"He is." I reply, as she gives me back the photo.

"How long have you been together?" She asks, and I shrug.

"About a month" I say, and she nods.

"Did you..." She trails off

"Mom! What the hell? No!" I say, and she laughs

"I had to ask you" she says, and I feel myself blushing.

"No, mom. He's asexual" I explain, and she nods understandingly.

"So I don't have to worry about stuff like that, thank god" She says, and I silently plead for her to stop.

"Anyways, now I have to go, I have to make dinner. Your father went out, so you can come downstairs, if he comes back before dinner's ready I'll bring it up here, okay?" She says "and don't worry about Gerard, I'll talk to your father and I'll find a way to fix this, you'll be able to see him soon"

"Thank you mama" I say, and she hugs me again, making me sigh in relief.

~~~

A/n maybe I'm not that cruel  
(Unedited)

WhY aRe YoU rUnNiNg? ~ 16

Song(s): death is a party, invite all your friends, palaye royale.  
die for something beautiful, palaye royale.

I walk slowly, anxiously taking a drag out of my cigarette, the night making its way in the late afternoon sky.

A tear escapes my eye, and I quickly wipe it off with the back of my hand.

I really hope that Frank is alright.

That screaming didn't sound pleasant.

I breath out the smoke, my hands shaking.

He should be alright though. He told me that his dad wouldn't hurt him.

But what if he did?

I throw the cigarette butt on the ground.

I try to shake off the thought, but it lingers at the back of my mind, taunting me.

I get home, and knock on the front door.

"I'll get it!" A feminine voice yells. It's mom.

I run my hand through my hair nervously. She'll be able to tell that I'm not okay, and I really don't want to talk about it.

"Oh, Gee, what's up? Are you okay? You seem upset" she asks the moment she looks at me.

"It's nothing mom, I'm fine" I lie, as I get inside the house.

She looks at me in the eyes, and without thinking twice she says "you're lying. You have cried, and smoked, too."

I look down at my feet

"Come on Gee, we have to talk" she demands, and I follow her to the living room.

"So, spill. What's up?" She says, crossing her arms over her chest

"You know Frank, right?" I ask, and she nods.

"Your friend, right?" She replies, and I shake my head

"Well, not quite. He's been my boyfriend for almost a month, and, well we kind of kept it lowkey around anyone who knows us, besides the boys" I explain, playing with the hem of my shirt

"Why's that?" She asks, and I take a deep breath.

"Well, his parents, his dad, specifically, are pretty homophobic" I say, and she frowns, but I can tell that she wants to hear more.

"So, today we went on a date, and I think that his dad shouldn't have been home, because he kissed me goodbye and he saw us. He told me to run because he can get pretty violent, and so I did. He told me that he wouldn't get hurt, but I'm scared" I explain, my hands starting to shake again.

"Is he abusive?" She gasps, and I shake my head.

"I don't think so. His mother would know, and she wouldn't stay with him if he was" I say, telling her what I had learned from Frank

"Oh, thank god." She says "So, what are you going to do now?"

"I mean, I can't go there. If his parents see me they're going to punish Frank, and I don't want that to happen. So I don't really know. He probably isn't allowed to get out of his house" I explain sadly, the thought of him getting hurt making my eyes water slightly.

"Come here. Don't cry. It's going to be okay" she reassures, hugging me.

~~~

I stare up at my ceiling, a strand of red hair lazily falling on my face.

I can't sleep.

My curtains are drawn shut, the only light in the room is the digital clock on my bedside table.

I look to my left, grabbing the pillow that Frank would use everytime he slept over.

I hold the soft material to my chest, inhaling the scent of his shampoo that's still lingering on the pillowcase.

I miss him.

It's been five hours and fifty five minutes since I left him at his doorstep and I miss him.

I bury my face further in the pillow, curling up around it completely, subconciously searching for Frank's body warmth.

Tears start running down my face for what feels like the hundreth time tonight, the pillow muffling the sound of my ragged breathing.

It shouldn't hurt this much, should it?

I try to look at my wall, the one filled with photos, but my vision is too watery for me to make out a clear image of it.

My phone buzzes from under my pillow, startling me.

I search through the sheets, before I finally get ahold of the device.

I quickly unlock it, its bright screen blinding me.

1 message from WhY aRe YoU rUnNiNg?

I groan, and throw the phone on the empty part of the bed.

It's our group chat. And since it's 4 am, it's most likely Pete sending memes.

I bury my face in the tear stained pillow again, closing my eyes.

Maybe I can sleep this all away...

~~~

Mikey's pov

My phone goes off loudly, and my eyes snap open almost instantly

"For fuck's sake Mikey, why do you keep your phone notifications so loud? I want to fucking sleep" Pete groans, from his position under my arm

"Sorry baby" I apologize, and lean down to kiss his forehead "go back to sleep"

He nods, and I quickly grab my phone from my nightstand.

1 message from WhY aRe YoU rUnNiNg?

What the fuck? Who the hell is awake at 4 am?

I unlock my phone, curiosity taking over me

Frank: sorry guys, i know it's fucking late, but my dad finally came home and i was able to sneak my phone back. So, idk if Gee told you, but my dad found out about us, my mom is fine about it but he isnt, so i don't know when and if i'll be able to be free again again. Anyways, i'm fine, physically, so you don't have to worry, and this is all i can say right now, i have to put my phone in my dad's jacket again before he finds out, bye  
-xofrnk  
Remington: holy shit dude  
Josh: really?

I frown, and Pete stirs again

"What's happening?" He slurs out.

"Frank's dad found out about him and Gee, I'll have to talk to him tomorrow" I explain, and he nods.

"Now come on, let's sleep" I say, putting my phone back on my nightstand, cuddling up to Pete's side again.

~~~

A/n This was painful to write, and i know that it's a bit later than usual for me to upload but i was kinda listening to amo by bmth on repeat for 3 hours, soooo....

I'm not letting you go ~ 17

Song(s): kill somebody, yungblud  
beside you, 5 seconds of summer

Frank's pov

I take a sip from the now cold cup of tea I had made myself earlier.

Everything feels so numb.

I know that it's late, very late, but I can't seem to care.

Is this what heartbreak feels like?

It shouldn't hurt this much. Should it?

I quietly empty the cup, setting it on my nightstand, amongst countless other.

I start playing with the hem of Gerard's shirt. I haven't taken it off yet.

It's been a couple of days, I think. After staring at my ceiling for hours on end I lost count.

I slide down, so I can lay on my bed, and stare at my ceiling again, looking at the fluorescent stars still stuck there from my childhood, their sickly green glow painting the wall yellow.

I sigh for what feels like the hundreth time since the fight with my dad.

That night he came back home drunk at six in the morning, and mom yelled at him again.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault that they're fighting and yelling, that dad came home drunk, that Gerard has probably cried himself to sleep that night and maybe even did something worse to himself.

I stop myself right there, before I can elaborate the thought further.

He wouldn't do that, right?

I hold one of my pillows close, trying to shake off the awful feeling that has taken over me.

All I can see is Gerard staring at me after showing me his scars.

I miss him. I really do.

~~~

I look at myself in the mirror of my bathroom.

I look like shit.

My hair is greasy and my eyes are still red from crying myself to sleep again last night.

It's all my fault.

It's my fault that I'm sad, that Gerard is sad, that my own fucking father hates me.

It's all my fault. I shouldn't have kissed him that day.

I hear some screaming coming from downstairs, and the front door slams shut.

I sigh, as I think of a way to make all of this stop.

I splash cold water on my face, trying to wake myself up, but it doesn't seem to work.

I walk back into my room, and throw myself onto my bed, curling up into Gerard's shirt, just like I've been doing for the past days.

There's a knock at my door, and I hear the sound of my door unlocking.

"What do you want mom?" I ask bitterly, my face buried in one of my pillows.

"I brought you breakfast" she sighs "Also, your father went out again. He said that he will be coming home late tonight, so you can go out if you want" she adds, and suddently life doesn't seem so dull anymore.

"Really?" I ask, lifting my head from my pillow.

"As long as you get home before dinner" she says, and I nod.

"Thank you mama" I say, and she smiles at me, wordlessly leaving the room.

~~~

I walk nervously down the street, playing with the hem of my shirt.

What if he forgot about me? I mean, it's not hard to do.

I shake off the thought as Gerard's house comes in sight.

I walk up to the front door, and I ring the doorbell, waiting for someone to let me in.

"Frank, what the fuck?" Mikey asks, as he opens the door.

"Well-" I try to say, but he cuts me off.

"Go, you don't need to explain yourself. I've seen the message. He's in his room" he says, as I step into the house.

I quickly walk upstairs, and go up to his door.

I slam the door open, and I see Gerard, curled up in a lump under a blanket on his bed.

"Fuck off Mikey" he groans, and I smile at that.

His head pokes from under the covers, and he looks at me.

He smiles widely as I walk up to his bed.

"I fucking missed you" I say, as I throw myself on top of him.

"I fucking missed you too. I'm not letting you go" he says, hugging me close to his chest, my face in the crook of his neck.

I kiss my way up his neck and jaw, finally reaching his lips.

We kiss softly, his hands tangling themselves in my hair, my hands holding his hips.

He tastes like an odd mix of cigarettes and cherry chapstick.

"I'm not letting you go either" I whisper against his slightly parted lips, and he starts kissing me again in response.

"This is cute and all, you know, but if you have to make out at least close the goddamn door" Mikey, I assume, chimes in, and Gerard flips him off, without disconnecting our lips.

I can just feel him roll his eyes.

Mikey slams the door shut, and Gerard finally ends our kiss, so we can catch our breath.

"You smell like cigarettes" I say, laying my head on his chest.

"I mean, smoking and thinking about you is all I've been doing for the past week, so"

"It's been a week?" I ask, looking up at him

"Yeah?" He replies, but it comes out like an answer instead of a statement

"Holy shit" I say, and he looks at me weirdly "I don't have a clock in my room and my sleep schedule is worse than before. And I just lost count of the meals my mom brought me, I guess"

He frowns, before adding "and how did your dad react?"

"Well, he started yelling at me, he called you a monster and a sinner, he says that he's doing this to protect me and all that bullshit" I reply, sadness washing over me

He starts to rub my back soothingly, he knows how upset this makes me.

"What did the guys say?" I ask, sighing

"Emerson cried, and everyone came over to comfort me, and one night Mikey, Pete, Remington and Awsten tried to sneak out to go sneak you out, but mom caught them. They didn't get punished though" He explains, and I nod.

"Do they care that much about me?" I ask, and he nods

"They really do. I do too. You're so special to me" he says, and I smile at him

I lean in and kiss him for the second time today.

~~~

A/n I WANTED THE DRAMA BUT I GUESS NOT. Also, i'm updating today and not tomorrow because i have a competition tomorrow, and yeah.

Also, idk if i'm going to update next week, mostly because i need a break from this fic specifically to let my ideas on the plot develop, but don't worry, i will still be active and writing, just on the valentine's day one shot

(Everything is unedited)

Cheating ~ 18

Song(s): playing god, paramore  
all my friends, palaye royale

A/n: okay, so, this chapter has 3 different povs and is a bit all over the place, sorry

I walk hand in hand with Frank, our fingers intertwined.

I really don't want to let him go, but I'm afraid that I'll have to.

"You can drop me off here. I don't want you to get closer just if my father is home" Frank says sadly, and I nod.

I hug him close, kissing the top of his head.

"Stay safe, okay?" I remind him, and he nods.

"Can I kiss you one last time?" He asks, and I happily oblige, gently cupping his face.

I peck him on the lips softly once, before actually kissing him.

He pulls away, his cheeks slightly tinted red, a small smile on his lips.

"Bye, Frank" I say, just as he turns to walk away.

Every single cell of my being is screaming to follow him, grab him and kiss him again, but I just turn in the opposite direction.

I look down at my dirty, worn down converse as I start to walk home.

Everything is going to be okay, right?

~~~  
Ryan (S)'s pov

I brush aside a strand of faded teal hair that had fallen on my face as I make my way down the hallway of Brendon's house.

I knock on Brendon's door, and I hear a faint "come in" coming from inside.

"Hey Breadbin" I say, looking at Brendon.

He's curled up under his covers, his head barely poking out from under them.

"Life is meaningless" He says back.

"Woah, what happened? Are you okay?" I say, reacting to his strange behavior.

"Shit happened. I don't know what to do" He replies, as I close the goddamn door behind me.

"Uh, can you be a bit more specific?" I ask, sitting on the chair near his desk.

"Basically, you know Vic, right?" He says, sitting up in bed.

His hair is messy, and looks like it hasn't been brushed in days, his eyes are red, like he had been crying.

"Yeah"

"So, on saturday he hosted a party, and me, Ryan and Dallon went there, we all were shitfaced, and-" He chokes out, tears welling up in his eyes

"Ryan cheated on me with Dallon" he says, tears spilling down his face and neck.

"Holy fucking shit dude" I say, as he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I don't know how to feel" He says, a sob shaking through his body "I'm more upset and betrayed than angry." He adds, more tears "Also, I miss him. A lot"

"How did you find out?" I ask, curious.

"Josh and Tyler were there too, and you know that Tyler doesn't drink. He saw everything and told me once I was sober enough" He cries, his whole body shaking from his sobbing.

"I just-" He adds "I thought he loved me"

"Have you talked to him at all after that?" I ask, trying my hardest not to start spinning on the chair.

"Yeah. He was sorry, but I don't know. I want to forgive him but I think that I need a little more time, and-" He tries to say, but his own sobbing cuts him off.

"And what?" I say, spinning lightly in my seat

"I just don't know what to do-" He says, wiping his face with his blanket

"Can I have a hug?" He asks shyly, after taking a deep breath to calm himself.

I wordlessly get up, and sit next to him on the bed, on top of his dark blue blanket

He immediately hugs me, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Thank you. I really needed this" he mumbles softly.

"It's going to be okay." I reassure gently, just as another tear escapes his eye, soaking my shirt.

"It hurts, Ryan. It fucking hurts" He cries

"I know, you're going to be alright" I say, my mind as he pulls back from the hug.

"Why are you even here in the first place?" He asks, playing with the hem of the blanket

"It's- nothing, forget it" I reply, shaking my head.

I came here for advice on what the fuck should I do with my crush on Gerard, but I already have my answer.

I won't do anything. I don't want to break Gerard's or Frank's heart by tearing their relationship apart.

I'd rather hurt myself than hurt the boy I love.

~~~  
Frank's pov (TW for homophobic slurs)

"Where the fuck have you been?" My father yells at me, his features morphed in a mask of anger

"I-" I try to speak, but he cuts me off

"You've been with that fag, haven't you?" He sneers, as I close the door behind me

"What did you just call him?" I say, my voice oddly calm.

"I called him a fag. He deserves that" he says, like the most logical thing in the world

"Oh fuck no he doesn't" I scream at him, my blood boiling

"Watch your language"

"I don't fucking care! You don't know him and you can't call him that" I yell again, and he raises his hand, to hit me, I assume, but he brings it down again

"Those people are all the same, Frank!" He screams, his face becoming red

"Oh shut up! You don't know him, he's done a better job at accepting him than you have" my mother chimes in angrily

"Don't get involved in this" he says at her calmly

"I can get involved and i will. You can't speak to my son and his boyfriend like that" she replies, getting in between him and me

"He's my son, I will talk to him how the fuck I please" he says back angrily

"He stopped being your son the second you yelled at him for kissing his boyfriend." She says, her voice cold and stern.

"Now, Frank, sweetie, can you go up to your room? And no, you're not in trouble" she says calmly to me, gently pushing me towards the stairs.

I start walking up the stairs, and when I close my bedroom door behind me, the fighting resumes.

It's going to be a wild night.

~~~

A/n I'm back from my little hiatus, what do you think of this chapter?

(Unedited) 

Everything is falling apart ~ 19

Song(s): air catcher, twenty one pilots

A/n this chapter should switch povs a fuck ton but i don't really want to do that so this chapter is going to be in third person

Also: don't be a silent reader! I love comments, even silly ones.

Third person's pov

Maybe everything isn't as fine as it seems.

Everything is falling apart right before Frank's eyes, and there is little to nothing he can do to stop it, really.

Because when his father starts screaming at him for even daring to talk back to him, his mother doesn't notice.

And when he slaps Frank again, she isn't here to stop him. And it hurt Frank more than it should have, but it doesn't matter, because "that's what he deserves" right?

Or, at least, in his father's mind, he does.

She's out with her friend. She thought that her husband wouldn't be a threat to her son's well being, but she was wrong.

Because when Frank stares blankly at his bedroom ceiling wondering if he really is that bad of a person, if he is really that bad just because he has a boyfriend, just because he loves, she isn't there.

And when she comes back, her husband screams at her too, because her "fucked up child", in his words, talked back to him.

"It's all my fault" he thinks, numbness washing over him, as he grips his pillow tighter.

And Frank hears everything from the quiet of his room, and he thinks back to Gerard, the person that Frank thinks he might love.

Gerard, that right now sits at his desk, flipping through his journal, a cigarette hanging from his bottom lip, because when he misses Frank all he does is smoking.

He's writing something, another hate letter to himself perhaps, but he's so used to it that he uses it as a coping mechanism rather than a way to hurt himself further.

He abruptly stops writing, because right now he's thinking about his flower, and there's no space for self hate right now, he thinks.

He thinks about his smile, the way his nose wrinkles the slightest bit when he laughs, he thinks about his tattoos, his kisses.

And he gets butterflies in his stomach all over again, and he's alright with that.

And maybe he's overthinking too much, it's too early, he reminds himself, but he thinks that he might love Frank.

He's never gotten this far in a relationship. He'll have to ask Mikey.

Mikey, that right now is sitting in Pete's living room, comforting one of his best friends.

Because Brendon is still crying, wondering about what happened that night, because he still loves Ryan, and he still misses him.

He misses the way Ryan used to hold him whenever he cried. He misses his soft kisses, he misses the butterflies and the sweet texts whenever they were apart for more than a couple of hours.

He misses his love.

"I thought he loved me" Brendon cries, just as Pete enters the room.

"Ryan does love you, Bren. You just have to talk it out, and decide what to do with all of this" Pete says, and Mikey nods in agreement.

Ryan, that right now is laying on the floor of his bedroom, the soft carpet digging into his skin softly, and it should be uncomfortable, but it really isn't, he thinks.

He stares at the photos of him and Brendon taped on his wall.

There's one from when they had just started dating, they were fifteen at that time, Ryan was kissing Brendon's cheek, and he curses himself, because he lost all of that to a drunken mistake, and he doesn't think he'll ever forgive himself.

He's not crying, not right now.

He's thinking, replaying those drunken moments again and again, because he made a mistake, and he hopes that Brendon is willing to talk, because he can't keep on beating himself up like this.

Because he kissed Dallon, and he made a mistake, he reminds himself for what felt like the hundredth time this week.

Dallon, that right now is walking down an empty street, making his way to his blue haired friend's house, because he needs to talk to someone.

And he feels useless, because his best friends won't talk to him at all, but if they do it's just to update him on Brendon's state.

And it's never good news, so the tears himself up over it, because in his mind, all of this was his fault.

He clutches the strap of the bag he's carrying, just like everytime he's nervous.

He understands though. He helped to ruin a perfect relationship between two beautiful people.

Two beautiful people that maybe he likes a bit more than just in a friendly way.

He shakes off the thought, because right now isn't the time for silly crushes.

He reaches Ryan's house, and he thinks back to Tyler, the person that called him out on all of this.

He isn't mad. He knows that he made a mistake, and yet he feels so numb to all of this, because to him this is just another of his fuck ups.

Tyler, that right now is sitting on his boyfriend's lap, watching a movie with him and his siblings.

And he thinks back to this mess, because his friend group is falling apart, and he can't help but feel even a little responsible for this.

"Baby boy, are you okay?" josh asks, using the pet name he knows Tyler likes the most, once the movie is over and Tyler's sibilings leave the room.

"No" Tyler sighs "I feel responsible for fucking up Ryan and Brendon's relationship"

He curls up further in his boyfriend's lap, just as he wraps his arms around Tyler's frame.

"You did nothing wrong Ty. Ryan fucked up, and you did what you should have." Josh says, and Tyler nods

"I still feel guilty for fucking up our friend group though. I feel like we're not going to be the same after this. Do you remember that mess with Ryan and Jessica in 9th grade? I don't want that to happen again. Ryan, Patrick and Remi didn't talk to each other for weeks." Tyler says, shaking his head

"Ry, Bren and Dallon are going to work it out. We're going to be fine" Josh reassures, even though he wasn't so sure about it himself.

~~~

A/n omg. We reached 1.8k? HOW? I love y'all so much, thank you!!!

(Unedited)

Everything will be alright ~ 20

A/n read the a/n at the end, it's important

Song(s): give me novacaine, green day

Dallon's pov

"Well, I'm not saying that I regret it because I don't, you know" I say, and Awsten looks at me weirdly

"What do you mean by that?" He asks, and I shrug in response

"You know that I like Ryan, and even though it was definitely a mistake, I don't regret it. I like Ryan, and I like Brendon too, you know that" I reply, looking at him loke what I just said was the most obvious thing in the world

"So, what are you going to do? I mean, you either apologize to Brendon and let them fix this or you tell them both what you're feeling and risk fucking this up even more" "Also, Ryan's birthday's coming up, and you don't want to ruin that"

"Awsten, I don't know what to do" I say, looking down at my feet

"What about this, you call them both and you tell them that you need to talk. You can't let them fuck up a two year relationship"

~~~

"So, why are we here?" Brendon asks, sitting on the couch of my living room, looling at me.

"First of all, I want to say sorry. I'm sorry for kissing Ryan, and I get that you're mad at me-" I try to say, and Ryan cuts me off

"I'm not mad at you, it's my fault." He says, shaking his head "I shouldn't have done that"

"No it's not Ry, it's my fault." I say, and Brendon shakes his head.

"Why don't we all blame this on too much beer and move on?" He suggests, but this time it's my turn to disagree

"It not that easy, and, well, there's one more thing I have to tell you-

~~~  
Frank's pov (tw for one homophobic slur)

It's been two weeks since I last saw Gerard.

Summer is on its deathbed and I'm desperately clinging to its remains, dreading the fact of actually going back to school.

I sit in my room, the window open, because that's the most contact I can have with the outside world.

I sigh for what it feels like the tenth time in the past ten minutes, because I'm getting sick of this, but there's not much I can do.

"I'm getting sick of your bullshit!" I hear someone, I can't make out who, scream from my parents' bedroom.

I roll my eyes. They've going back and forth with this for almost a month, and even though I'm grateful for my mother is trying to do, I really can't stand this anymore.

I don't want this to end up in a divorce or something, but I'm pretty sure, judging by their screaming, that's going to happen soon if my dad doesn't change his mind, and that's unlikely.

"I'm fucking done! I'm tired of screaming at you. Pack your bags and get your ass out of here, and don't come back until you pull your head out of your ass and stop being so close minded" my mother yells, her voice sharp.

I can tell that she didn't want to do this.

I hear some more muffled talking, and a door slamming shut.

Someone, probably the man that I once could call father, knocks loudly at my goddamn door, startling me.

"Bye faggot, see you in hell" he yells, and I flinch at the word.

Once the front door closes, I run out of my room and run to my parents'- or maybe just my mother's- room.

She's sitting on the bed, her arms wrapped around herself, staring at the wall.

"Mom?" I ask softly, standing in the doorway

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I had to, I just couldn't do all of this anymore, I-" she tries to say, and I cut her off

"It's okay. I don't really care, you know I never really liked him anyways. I want to know how you're feeling about all of this" I say, sitting next to her, putting an arm around her back.

"I didn't want to do that, but I feel like I had to. I still love your father, but I just can't-" she chokes out, as she throws herself into my arms, and I hug her tighter

"We'll be alright" I whisper, as she cries quietly in my shoulder.

"Now go, Frank. There's your phone. I need some time alone and I need to pack up your father's stuff. He'll be here to pick it up tomorrow" she says, her voice shaking

"Do you need help?" I ask, and she shakes her head

"No, Frank. Now just go, please." She says again, but I'm still not convinced

"Okay, mama. Are you sure you want me to leave?" I ask one last time, and she nods.

I give her one last hug before leaving the room, holding my phone in my left hand.

We'll be alright.

~~~

I knock on Gerard's front door nervously.

What if he's forgotten about me?

I shake off the thought, as the door opens.

"Frank?" Mikey says, looking at me

"Is Gerard home? We really need to talk" I say anxiously, looking down at my feet.

"What happened?" He asks, sensing my distress

"It's a long story" I sort of explain, and he nods.

"Come in. He's not home but he went out to buy some obscure art supply, he'll be home soon"

~~~

I'm sitting in Gerard's living room, listening to Mikey talk about everything I've missed during my period of isolation.

Apparently Brendon and Ryan have gone through some shit, and Sebastian joined the gay part of our group because of some guy named Daniel.

I hear the front door opening, and my head snaps in that direcion, and Mikey does the same.

"Mikey, I'm home!" Gerard yells, and oh my god, I missed his voice

I get up from my seat, and run towards the door, and the second he sees me he drops the bag he was carrying.

"Fucking finally" I say, my voice slightly muffled by his chest.

"I missed you" he says, kissing the top of my head "i missed you so fucking much flower"

I melt into his arms at the nickname, and I look at him in the eyes, leaning in for a kiss.

He closes the distance between us, and we're finally kissing.

The kiss is slow and soft, filled with so much emotions my knees might start shaking.

~~~

A/n whoops, sorry for making you wait two week(e)s for this piece of shit of a chapter.

Also, I'm glad to announce that summertime's almost over! I think there is going to be another chapter (maybe two idk) and that's it. (I honestly feel like a proud mom rn lmao)

But, don't worry because I already have two other fics planned, a petekey/ryden (but mostly petekey) involving vampire pete and vampire brendon and a joshler that involves an almost straight™️ josh, glitter and love notes.

Which fic should I write? (I'm going to write the petekey one first anyways, i'm just asking your opinion on the fics)

(Unedited) 

I think I love you ~ 21

A/n: this chapter goes to MerlinMorganEmrys that has been with me since the very beginning (i love you) , and to Midnight_Misery_owo and YeemoCookie3 (your comments make my day, seriously, thank you)

Song(s): new perspective, panic! at the disco  
baby you're a haunted house, gerard way

We walk hand in hand, enjoying the last minutes of summer, as we walk towards the school gates.

"I'm scared" Frank says, turning his head around to look at me

"Why?" I ask back, tucking a strand of black hair- dyed hair wasn't allowed- behind my ear.

"It's my first year in this school and i'll be a senior, Gerard, i'm not ready"

"You'll be fine, flower." I reassure him, and he raises and eyebrow at me

"I'm still a child!" He half yells, and a guy walking by looks at him weirdly

"We're both children, legally" I sass back, and he sighs

"You know what I mean" He starts "I'm just scared, what if nobody likes me, what if my teachers hate me, oh my god I'll fail-"

I press a kiss to his lips to shut him up, and I wrap my arm around his hips in a side hug.

He smiles up at me, and leans into my touch, relaxing into my arms.

"Everyone will love you, I'm sure" I say "Now, calm down a little, I'll show you where your locker is"

"Okay" He nods

We walk into the school, the change of temperature clear.

"What's your locker number?" I ask, as we make our way towards the main hallway

"It's two hundred forty seven, I think" He replies, and I nod.

"Really? It's like twenty lockers away from mine and like five from Ray's"

"At least I won't be fucking alone" He adds kind of happily, and I smile.

"What do you have first period?" I ask, as we stop at his locker, and I help him put his stuff in it.

"English, with miss Jackson" He replies, looking at his schedule on his phone

"Shit, I have maths." I curse, pulling a heavy looking book out of his now almost empty backpack, handing it to him "I think Andy and Seb are in that class though, and that teacher is actually pretty nice, we're friends, well, sort of"

"I don't know where the hell that classroom is though" He frowns, putting the book on the middle shelf of his locker.

"I'll bring you there, don't worry" I say nonchalantly, as he closes the locker's door.

"But you have to get to your own class and you have like two minutes to get there, I don't want you to be late"

"Your class is on the first floor near the stairs, I'll walk there anyways since mine is on the second floor, don't worry" I shrug, and the bell rings.

I grab his hand again, and I start to bring him to his classroom, on the other end of the hallway.

As we walk by, I can hear some whispering and some stares directed at us.

It isn't because we're two guys, people couldn't care less about that. It's because well, I'm me, and nobody expected one of the emo kids to get a boyfriend this summer.

Especially a hot one like Frank.

"Thank you" He says, as we stop at his classroom.

"No problem" I reply, as he gets on his tip toes to kiss me goodbye.

I love seeing him this confident after all the shit he got from his father.

Oh god, I love him.

"Frank, can I tell you somethi-" I try to say, as he pulls back from the kiss

"No pda near my classroom, Way" miss Jackson cuts me off jokingly.

"Sorry miss, I'll go now" I reply to the woman, turning around to look at her.

"Bye flower, see you later" I say, to Frank, and I notice a slight blush on his cheeks.

I peck him on the lips one last time and turn towards the stairs.

Another school year begins.

~~~

"Hey Mikes" I greet, sitting next to my brother at our usual lunch table, and Frank copies my actions, sitting next to me.

"Hey Gee, Frank" he replies, too absorbed by the person he's texting that he doesn't even look up from his phone.

We're alone at the table, but I can see a small group of people walking towards us, three of them are really tall and two of them are really short, so I assume it's the three Kropp brothers, Pete, and Patrick.

"Hello" Pete greets, sitting next to Mikey, and Remington, Emerson and Sebastian sit in front of us, placing their lunch trays down on the table.

I start to eat in silence, poking at the pasta with my fork, as the others start to talk about something that doesn't really catch my interest.

"'Sup bitches" Brendon greets, slamming his tray on the table, sitting next to Sebastian, Ryan and Dallon next to him.

They had fixed their problem, somewhat.  
Brendon and Ryan got back together, and Dallon was in the unofficially official boyfriend stage with both of them. (A/n i'm a slut for bryllon s o r r y)

Everything seemed to be back to like it was a couple of months ago, except for the prsence of the small boy sitting next to me.

My little flower.

"Are you okay gee?" He whispers in my ear.

"Yeah, I was just thinking, I'm fine"

"What were you thinking about?" He asks, curious.

"Being honest? You. I was thinking about you" I reply, and he smiles.

"Can you stop being so sappy? You're making me feel single" Emerson chimes in, and I roll my eyes.

~~~

"Gee?" Franks asks carefully, lightly swinging on the swing he's sitting on

We decided to come back to the park where it all started after school, we both haven't been here in a while and I missed it.

"Yeah?" I reply, turning my head to look at him.

He looks relaxed, his eyes shining, and his cheeks rosy. He has no make up on today, and his lips are a bit more chapped then usual, and he look beautiful.

He'll always look beautiful to me.

"When you brought me to class today, you were about to tell me something before miss jackson interrupted you, what was it?"

"Well-" "I think I love you"

"Really? I think I love you too"


End file.
